Wacky Invention Idea: Have a Ball Oon

Know how we use water balloon to have fights or whatever? Well, let's upgrade it. Let's have glow in the dark liquid to have night time water balloon fights. Different colored glow for different people.

It has other applications too. We can throw it down holes to see how deep they are and such.

Woo! I'm a genius, probably.

Poetic Review of South Park, Bigger, Longer, and Uncut

Want a movie that's offensive
Puts people on le defensive
Has a point to make
Curses for cursings sake
It is faithful to the show
Reaches its highest points at normal people's low
Watch it and don't take it serious
While watchig your grandma get furious
It's South Park, it's got something to say
Watch it today tomorrow and yesterday
It achieved highest grossing R rated animated movie
Until the release of Sausage Party
The animation is typical
The best theme is cynical
But it is a sleeper hit
One that I guarantee you won't forget
So for the sake of stars
This one is a four of course

Star Wars Mythology is Four Sentences

So, a long long time ago far far away, there was a boy who was conceived via the Force and a lady. He was supposed to bring balance to the force, but instead he became a crazy robot with asthma and a vendetta. He had a son and daughter, who separated at birth. One became a princess and the other eventually became a Jedi, who used the power of the force to kill asthma robot.

Five Original Sentences about Go

1. I used to go to the store to buy groceries, now I go to the store to see people argue about cereal.

2. Speaking of cereal, I heard the trip rabbit is talking to an Irishman about going to the moon for frosted flakes.

3. I keep a box of lucky charms in my glove compartment, so that if I crash, I feel
Lucky I have food.

4. Can you go ahead and jump to the other side of the pool, because water makes my eyes burn while I look at you.

5. Go ahead make my photo with lettuce.

Honest Confusions

Honestly: Jet pack

I wanted to build a jet pack a few days ago. I really wanted to do it. I had a high aspirations, and for some reason, it seemed like I knew quite a bit more than I thought about how jet packs work. 

Here's the thing though, I am a writer. I am not a scientist. I am not a wielder. I am not a pilot. Basically, I know nothing about building a jet pack with my actual hands. 

Here's the thing though. As a writer I can at least think it up, and I can talk to other people about it. So, if you know anyone who knows hpw to build a jet pack, tell them I thought of it and it is my completely originally idea, and if they don't give me a cut, I'll Mark Zuckerberg them. 

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Cats

Today's Topic: Cats

Ever wonder what cats really are? You probably thought that they were cats, but have you ever thought that there might be a conspiracy theory worth talking about there.

Let's just start with Feline.

Feline sounds like someone with a mouth full of marbles saying we lyin'.

As it is clearly obvious based on how much they sleep in the sun at the top of a room. It is clear that every cat is actually a small piece of Ra, the God of the Sun. The reason that they chase the sun is so that they can get back into bird form. If they can do that they can go back to the sun, where they rightfully belong.

It has never been so clear, right?

Poetic Review of Batman V Superman

Oops, we broke that building
I'm Batman and have a feeling
This is my movie not for the man of Steel
Even thought it was marketed as a seqdeel
It drags on and on and on
Some how barely retaining it's fun
For a moment, you might space out
Forget what the movie is about
Why is batman wearing a suit
Is he about to kill Superman woot woot
What the hell is that the flash?
Woops, the fun went by fast
What is Lex Luther doing
What kind of plan is he brewing
Regardless this movie runs on forever
It's more worthwhile then throwing your money in the nether
It has a convenient plot
Don't ask DC fans there given it some thought
It feels like a set up for the final scene
2.5 stars because I don't want to be mean