Sillllllllllly Saaaaaaaturday

Food should be in the shape of cubes, so that each side could be a different food or flavor!!!Omg! Ice cream cubes! Different flavors on each side and hot fudge in the center! I'm a genius.

The Evil Avenue

  You can take the Devil's order or her offer. Check her out and you go down Normal St., but if you take the Devil's offer, then you go down Evil Avenue. That moment was your choice. One way or the other, only binaries. There were only two choices.
    "I will take your offer, but for my soul, I want you to sign up for a credit card," you said smartly. The Devil laughed at you.
    "Yeah right. That's just going to ruin my credit, and I can't live without credit. How will I get a loan?" The Devil said. You laughed at the Devil too.
    "Yes, and i totally don't need my eternal soul for anything."
    "What's the interest percentage?" The Devil said.
    "25%? Thats outrageous!"
    "And I burn for eternity? Seems that as fair," you said back.
    "What information do you need?"
    "Driver's licence. Debt card. And social security number."
    "Are you trying to steal my identity?" The Devil asked.
    "Aren't you trying to steal my soul?"
    "Fine! I'll sign up for the card." Success, you beat the Devil.

EXERCISE TWICE

Take a simple prompt. Like: start a story with dialogue about a alleged murder or bad grades. Now, sure, you can write that prompt once, and I say you do that. Then, once you finish do it once more with your newfound ideas all together, but do not tell the same story.

Wack Wed: Get out of Bed

So, here we go again. An idea fortune ages! An alarm clock that the more you hit the snooze button, the more it shocks you. It'll hurt, and it might see you our of bed. Plus, you'd gave a reason to have bed head. Boom!

Poetic Knight

Write write into the night
Right right into the knight
Light light the entire night
Fight fight out of sight

This pen is a sword
This sword can take you hand
Your hand holds you pen
What was I gonna write again?

Swing your sword through doom
Sling your pen across the room

The pen is not a sword
And you sir are not a Lord

Write the rights into your knight
Make him fight for what's right
Even if you write it wrong
Leave it open
For interpretati on
Like a song

Oh No Mayo 6

I am thee Mayo of Burgah Tahown
Picking out a wedding gown
Party and Bacon's daughter
Who is just like her father
Is getting married to a Beet
Something none of us had forseen
Since she was a little sprout
When she used to pout for grandpa sour Cream
None of us would have ever dreamed
Thats how far we little beans can go
I kept her close to my artichoke heart
Like brilliant piece of macaroni art
Nothing will tear this family apart
Ive got to go
Sincerely yours, Mayo.

story told through a grocery list

Things to Buy:

New socks
Bleach
Kitchen knives
Mop
Bucket
Disinfectant
Shovel
Janitor uniform
Celery
Name badges
Overalls
Sharpie
Duplicate keys to Susan's apartment
Fake mustache
Wig

S Only Saturday

How did the weekdays get their names?

Monday used to be moanday, because everyone moaned and groaned.

Tuesday is obviously twos day.

Wednesday used to be weednest day, because people picked weeds and Burgah used those weeds to make nests.

Thursday just means get thru this day and it'll be Friday.

Friday is short for friend day.

Saturday is about sitting and relaxind. So you sat your day away.

And Sunday is Gods day: son day.

Lived in Reverse

    Your soundtrack stopped abruptly as the Devil extended her offer to you, and you began to vaguely hear the distant sound of an axe sharpening. "It us very important that you take this deal, because I cannot guarantee your safety."
    "No," you said calmly.
    "You won't want to think it through at all?"
    "No," you said again. A different darker version of the Devil appeared, and that version swung a freshly sharpened axe at you, but you ducked in time to escape the problem. "Okay, ill take the deal!" You screamed.
    "What would you like?" The Devil said as her evil counterpart continued to swing her axe at you.
     "I want to live through this!"
     "Done." She snapped her fingers, and you began to rapidly travel back in time. You appeared inside of a burning circle of fire just in front of a pile of giant eggs. Before you could do anything else, you were bitten in half by a T-rex and your soul became the Devil's property.

Extra Lies + 1

Remembering the lying advice I despensed? Well, now... do the reverse. Take an extremely unbelievable story, and tone it down enough to believable. Both are usefully. Bequests most believable things have at least a drain of truth.

Thwack Wednesday: It's Electric

So, nails. They put holes in the wall, and sometimes they hard to take out of the wall. So, I think I can solve exactly one of those problem. We get a device to put the hole in the wall, and the place the nail in said hole. Then using the head of an extremely magnetized hammer, you pull the nail from the wall by place the hammer afirst the wall and pulling.

Fancy Rats

Fancy Rat in a top hat
No what exactly is that?
Wearing a coat made of pearls
These rats have the whole world

Except that is a rat
Literally in a top hat
Whats that?
A rat sat in a top hat?

While a cat sat watching the hat
The hat in question with the rat
The little selfish brat
That is my hat, ya rat

Thats all that.

Mayo 5

I am thee Mayo of Burgah Tahown
I always smile and never frown
When I'm downtown, I hear the dumplings sing
With their dancers, the hot wings
I musta-heard the beef or before
They invited Tortilla Jacky
To sing for her Father Chip
Afterwards the hole audience donuts
Sprinkling Jacky with sweet confections
And off fly the chocolate doves
The cinnamen play her off
On the piano, played by Billy Jalapeno
My eyes sparkle with water
I'm so happy for Mr. Chips daughter
Today was a good day
Just like everyday
And thats the show
I'm the Mayo

The Light Flickers

    When the Light flickered, everything went dark. I could not see, and thus I has no idea what I was doing. I stumbled through the vague darkness, grabbing for some thing to hold me in a standing position. The darkness gave me vertigo, made it hard to stand.
    My hand wrapped around a cool handle and I pushed my way through the thick shadows, pushing handle fist, so I'd stand up straight. The dark matter spread through the dark energy was not easy to overcome, bit I pressed on until the handle touched the metal door. I pushed open the door into the bright, light and was free of the darkness once and for all.
    In my hand was the handle of a knife covered in red paint. I placed it on the ground and continued on my way.

SILLY Putty SATURDAY

All private investigators should carry silly putty!

Reasons:

1. It can pick up some small evidence discretely
2. It can pick up impressions which you can stamp on paper.
3. No one except me will expect that it is a tool.
4. Shove it in a keyhole, and the cant unlock the door for awhile.
5. If you get caught, it will become a hideous blob in seconds. No one will know.
6. It is fun to play with.
7. It is cheap.
8. It can leave a trail
9. I'm a genius.
10. Leave a hidden message or clue.

Dev. Story Devil

    You can take the deal from the Devil, but something seems to be stopping you.You are completely unable to move, and suddenly you realize that no instead is moving, not even the Devil. A strange green diamond has appeared above your head, and you feel like someone is watching you.
    "Kevin, I don't really like the idea of a deal with the Devil. So, change it," An eternal voice said. Everything blinked, becoming nothingness, and then the scene around you began to change. Everything changed.,
    Now, you seemed to have a name. It had become your story. I could see, you would say. The Devil began to change in front of you too, I might say. She changed into a genie, manifesting from a lamp. Again, she offered me a "wish", which was very similar to a "deal".
    "Kevin! This is the exact same story," the eternal voicemail. The world began to crumple around you, accompanied by the sound of paper crunching. Then, you were dead. You were gone. You were trash, because you didn't have enough promise.

Extra Lies Exercise

Fiction is about effectively lying to your audience and making it believable. So, to practice this idea, write a story from your life a true story. Use adjectives and hyperbole yo make it interesting without seeming like it is a lie. Let someone who was present for that even read it, to see if they remember. Then explain.

Wacky Wednesday: Windoors

Instead of dog or cat doors built into doors, where they allow other animals to come in, ans they are unsightly to your guests. We can design an object, similar to a air conditioning window unit, that is actually a cat door or dog door. You can put it on your personal window, so that you know when your cat/dog comes home.

Tiptoe Through the Landmines

Tiptoe Through the landmines
Across those blurry lines
Through the kitchen passed the dog
Into the mist and  beyond the fog
Across a bridge made of glass
Tiptoe across the grass
Into a cave made of stone
Away from every telephone
Down into the depths of help
Where one can see the edge of hell

You can see mystery
Now solve the world's misery
Tiptoe across the way
"I've been to hell and back." You can say

Burgah Tahown 4 President

I'm the Mayo of Burgah Tahown
In my place, the burgahs never frown
Now, I'm running for president
Keeping things fresh like William Spearmint
I want Garlic to be Treated like onion!
And sour cream and onion funions
My rival Donald Turnip may want to make us great
I just want food on everyone's plate
The world doesn't have to be a corny maze of maize
Instead it can be hamazing
Glaze yourself in satisfaction
Because I'm about  to win this election
Miracle whip the competition
Until the feel the burn of Jalapeno
Because these other politicians have to go!
Because I am the Mayo!

Quantumino Bay: Halloween

   "Gwen Hallow, I haven't seen you in a long time. What's it been? Since October?"
    Gwen set her glass of wine on the oak side table. She was sick of fruity wine, and the guests at this "party" judging her. Finally, it felt like she had a friend in the room. It was good old Autumn. She looked like she had been partied out though, because her eyes which were usually bright green were now a dark amber lager color, probably from all the lager she had drank.
    "Autumn, tis the season! Woot!" Autumn plopped down next to Gwen and slapped her on the back.
    "We need," Autumn counted her fingers on her hands and the laughed. "Just bring us enough shots to kill us, and we will drink one less than that. Woo! Lets start this party!"
    Gwen didn't really gave the heart to tell her old friend that it wasn't that kind of party. She found it even harder to tell her that she had grown out of partying.,so, instead of saying either of those things, Gwen pushed the glass of wine into Autumn's hand.
    Gwen heard a sharp bang, and the glass exploded at a bullet rammed through both Autumn and her glass. Autumn fell, and Gwen sprang into action.

Silly Oil Lily Saturday

I've been thinking that it would be fun to use something other than money as an allowance. It would be easier to use something like old Pepsi bottle caps or rocks. That way, my kids would go outside to obtain an item that I have deemed to be worth money. Money and playing outside. Perfecto.

Devolve Devil

    You could easily sign the contract, that much is completely true and it is also completely up to you! I mean as the narrator, I would strongly suggests that you do not attempt to make a deal with the Devil herself. Granted you may be able to accomplish something but the likelihood is very low! But hey, you do you.
    So, you extended your hand. You rotated around, and you were holding a gold coated white Holy Heaven Gun. It was literally the only thing in the entire world that would kill the Devil, other than the magic of a lumberjack. Your personal soundtrack was now full of guitar riffs and heavy bass beats.
    You were always such a good person, and you knew you were going to do the right thing, no matter what some narrator said. You placed the gun, barrel facing towards the Devil andyou laughed, just as you envisioned. "I'm going to ask you once. Leave now."
    The Devil reached into her purse and she pulled from it the sharp handle of a dagger. Instinctively, you shot her in the stomach. The Devil exploded into a brilliant flash of fire. And you found yourself slowly being consumed by the red skin that had been coating her. Soon, you were going to be the Devil.

Mimicry to summery

Once in a while, I would suggest attempting to mimic someone else's work. By this I mean, take a specific author or example from a work, extract from that the core principles of their writing. By doing this you can thrust yourself into that author's mindset, as you perceive it, and use their voice to evolve your own!

Worldwide Wack Wednesday

Hoping for a great invention from me? Well prepare to be amazed! Candy books! Books printed on healthy type of food floss unlike cotton candy in ingredients but like it in style. Printed with blackberry juice? Knowledge and nutrition.

Quantimino Bay: Not the President's Day

    "Sir sir? You need to determine whether or not we will post these birthdays onto today's Newscast."
    Rocky slapped the papers from his assistance's hands. "What do look like? President of Birthdays? The Birthday President. I don't give a shit about Birthdays."
    "Yes, but it is very important to Tierra," the assistant said.
    "Why does she think that everything revolves around her. It's like when I am at the station, I'm just visiting her world."
    The assistant handed the papers to his boss. "I understand, but you might as well look." Rocky grabbed the papers and quickly glanced at the least.
    "May, Turk, Glenda, and Leap." None of these are worthwhile. As the name's soaked into Rocky's mind he grabbed his assistant and pulled him into the wall. A briage of bullets sprang through wall where they had been standing. "Not this again." Rocky said. He yanked a blow dart gun from his jackets. "Let's hope there's six more weeks of winter."

Look Here

Look here
Look there
Did you look anywhere?
Look again
Look some more
Knock knock
Is someone at the door?
Look out
Look in
Who are you now
Who will you be then
Hear this
Here that
Here here
Let's make a cheer
Drink some beer
All we have is here
Because later well be there
And there will be here
Right now is right when
Now becomes then

Rick-1

There was once a beginning to everything in the entire universe. A first sunrise. A first sundown, a first rain shower, and a first Rick. Rick was the first Rick, and for a long time he was the only Rick who ever Ricked. He never found it Rickdiculous that there were no other Rick's, because he only needed himself.
    Rick had many hobbies. Carrying animails in Rickshaws, Rick Rolling rocks around, and planning eleborate dinners in Ricktober that he called Ricksgiving. It was surely the best time any Rick had ever had. Just like everyone always knows that something can go wrong, so did Rick. Rick knew something could go wrong. One day, he did something very Ricksky and it cause a sequence of bad events. Rick was allowed to choose two different and equally viable options causing a Rickvision in his personality. Rick chose both and thus he became Rick-1 and Rick-2.

Silly Lee Lee Summit

I think metal slides should be banned from the world, because they are always lava hot. On top of that can we combine seesaws and swing? Swingsaws? II'm not sure how it would work. Sounds like an amusement park ride though.

FooleD EvIL

    The Devil had her ccontract in front of her and as you went to sign it, she burst into unreasonable amounts of laughter. The sound embedded itself into your personal music. The woman reached her hand to the back of her head and pulled her skin off of her head. It wasn't the Devil at all. It was your friend Mad Jack. Man, Mad Jack was such a jerk.
    "You honestly thought that I was the Devil? I don't look anything like that Bit..."
    The woman directly behind Mad Jack grabbed him by the shoulder. "You better watch your tongue sir."
    Mad Jack pulled away from the woman. "I don't have to do anything. The Devil is a shitty person and iI don'tlike what she does as the governor of our state."
    "It isn't wise to talk I'll of you Dark Ruler!"
    "And what the Hell are going to do about it?" Mad Jack screamed.
    The woman grabbed Mad Jack by the face and melted it away." That's what the Hell I am going to do about it." The Devil smiled at you and you could have sworn she was wearing Prada.