Perfect Cat Toy

It's a toy that you mount on your cat, but it is also a laser pointer. Like when they would attach a sandwich to a guy who loves sandwiches in a cartoon!

They entertain themselves, and you get paid to watch them go insane.

Instant millionaire? Probably not, but it is still money.

Running out of Time Short Piece

With his magic shoes, Greg ran faster than the speed of light or sight. He ran past every single war, and he stopped to look at a dinosaur.Greg went back as for as time allowed, then he burst through the back side. As he popped through time's bubble, a door appeared.

He gabbed it slow and turned it. On the opposite side, he found his living room, suspiciously on the other side of time.

"Not this time," he said nonchalantly.

"Surprise!" Everyone in the room popped out from behind the furniture. "Happy birthday."

"I can't believe this. I went of my way to avoid my birthday."

Black and White

Black and White
Different as day and night
Both technically what is lacking
Yet, neither surpassing
Which is the lack of color you ask
Cover someone's face hat do they see through the mask
See a hot white lie when you die
See the cold black of space in the sky
Both signs from above
Black and white, colors of a dove
Which is the real least
Which is the nothing beast
Yet, if you are color blind
Do you mind?
All black or all white?
All the same, am I right?

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Table

I'm Doctor Hounchell, Doctor of Everything.

Today's topic is tables.

Look at the closest table, if you cannot see one, merely imagine it. Is it smooth? Long? Nearly rectangular? Has legs? Sits on the floor? If it has less legs and is floating in the sky, you are not thinking of a table.

Why do tables exist? Aren't they a lot like a chair? Why would you separate these two in your mind? Why would we seperate them at all? We could just make a tabair or chable.

My running theory us actually that people used to sit in the dip.

Easy!

What a Drem is?

A drem could fly if it thought it could fly. Except all drems want to stay on the ground, because all of their food is on the ground.

Slices of provolone and honey mustard pretzel bites.

The drems have very little thoughts, and rarely move out of their box. Like slugs on a rug, the move rather slow. Scream there's good, you'd be lucky if they.

As a drem may. Know, rain is rain, and is also snow. Drems love to play in the rain, and bacon on their heads.

Perhaps if you see a drem floating in a pool. You can tell it.

"Don't forget that you're a drem."

And after you've said what you've said, a drem can be anything. Even something you cannot see.

Wacky Invention: Car Fridge

It is a fridge for your car? Instant millionaire. And sense fridges are insulated, it keeps things hot when it's cold! I'm a genius! You are a genius!

Poetic Movie Review of Frosty the Snowman

Frosty the Snowman
Gets a hat and acquires some plans
It's a happy birthday
He's got to say
Why doesn't a single parent?
Seem to care a snowman came to life, it's apparent
Their kids are walking about
Singing and shouting
And no an adult comes to say
"What are you kid's doing anyway"
Regardless, with a corn cob pipe and a button nose
Frosty's going to die right?
That blows
It has a catchy tune
An a zany watery loon
It's fun to watch
I'll give it that
But at under an hour
It's hardly an attack
It has a color scheme
That feels like a dream
Voice acting, I do not remember
So it could not be bad
Want to see it? You'll be glad
4 stars out of five
Because this snowman is jive

Poem: Together Haiku

As you can see now
Based Entirely on notion
Controlled by my drive

Drive to continue
Exist along my purpose
Flowing like lava

Granted I have tried
Humanly as I can be
I shall not be Lore

Just kinda Random
King of all poetry
Lest I be no one

May the stars shine bright
Not just for me but for all
Others will gain too

Put faith in my pen
Quill, or whatever I use
Raining down black ink

Stop and look up once
To see the spots of the sky
Understand they're yours

Vary in lightness
Weather will change this as well
X-ed into your mind

You have always been so kind
Zen shall be restored that night.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Snow

Snow is an interesting idea.

Sit back and think about how it is water. A yard full of snow is like a small pound, or like quicksand, or even mud. It loses almost none of its dangerous aspects, as snow can still crush you. Snow can also be used as a projectile weapon, but what can't right?

Why would we let children play in snow? We don't usually let children, or dogs, or the elderly just frolic in a random pond, so why snow? What makes snow so weakened in our psyche.

Honestly, it makes sense. I think it fundamentally alters our ability to perceive. We have all of these different names for water. Ice, sleet, snow, water, hail, H20, just for the sake of differentiating. Except, snow is a soft form of water while retaining a solid state. It keys in on our wild inhibitions.

In this sense snow is not unlike a water balloon within itself. Snow is like a bunny. It is cute, but if you have a whole lot of bunnies falling from the sky, you are terrified, especially if you can't see because all of those bunnies. At least you can't drown in bunnies.

A Good Day for a Writing Prompt

Almost Everyone loves a good writing prompt, but sometimes there are just too few of them. Think you don't have what it takes? No worries, this prompt is just for you. This is legitimately serious.

Take any given character that you have and put them at dinner with their family. Regardless of what their family is like. Just see what happens. Sometimes human beings are their fundamental selves only at a dinner table. Try it, I dare you.

You'll be the next Stephen King.

New Invention: Easy Peasy and Other Cheesy

Like Candy? Like tastes? Of course you do, because you are human, presumably. Who isn't human? Yes yes, dogs aren't human.


Well, know those candies that exist? Like mentos? Or mints? Oh? Well, all candy is sweet, but candy is just supposed to be a treat!

So, why don't we make every flavor candy in a weird tube. Jelly belly does things similar with its bean boozled. You have flavors in candy other than sweet like sour and sometimes even savory. So just put those flavors all together into one tube of candy things.

Cheese flavored candy - Yellow
Apple flavored - Green
Very Sour blue berry flavored - Blue
Garlic flavor - Orange

And so on and so forth.

Show! Show and Crime

This one is perfect? Want a quick hundred dollars?

Well, get a blanket or sheet, a light bulb, and a marker. Vaguely advertise that you are doing shadow puppets. And change $7 for a ticket, but make a sign that says you can't make change. You just won the lottery basically.

Everyone likes to pay money to see light being manipulated.

Poetic Movie Review of Homeward Bound

Were homeward bound
So that soon,we'll be homeward found
We'll have to trek miles and miles
Through frowns and smiles
There's two dogs, a cat, and a fox
Climbing a mountain, slipping on rocks
Their mouths don't move
But they have nothing to prove
They are best friends
Even though clear enemies
Silly video of animals playing
With voiced over dialogue explaining
It is in the same vein as the Brave Little Toaster
And that Toy Story thing
And exactly like something Disney sings
single highhandedly created a troupe
But it worked to make, Toy Story explode
Homeward Bound may even be fun without voice acting
Don't put it on mute, I'm not even asking
For the sake of glory and god a gold
I'm giving this movie 4 out of five
For being well told

Prime Time for Crime: Snowdays

Want to make a trillion dollars? Like right now.

Stand outside in the morning and wait!

Now, wait until you see someone struggle to take the ice off of their car. Now charge them money to clean their car while it warms up.

If you want, you can steal their car too, but that's a felony, so use your judgement.

Poetic Movie Review of Rouge One

There's a planned trilogy of trilogies
But this is the rouge one
You'll know how it ends but still have fun
A droid whose salty
A hero whose faulty
You are one with the force
Perhaps it is one with you
The empire rises the occasion
But the rebels still try their operation
It's easy to forget their names
Spoiler alert, I don't need to explain
The new hope told you before
These kats are gonna die, that's the lore
Yet, I feel attached to them
It shoes how far the rebels were willing to go
To have that feeling of new hope
It's in the acting unlike the Phantom Menace
And it has its own original essence
Sure your roll your eyes
When they say the movies name
Might as well roll the credits, it's the same
Yet, it is capsulated because it has to be
Look out for R2 to CP
Even if you dislike stars wars
Because your slime of the empire
I suggest you still see this
If only to say in 2026
I saw Rouge One in theaters
With that in mind
I give this movie the highest of honors
5 out of 5

Poem: Door

A rectangle of wood
Protects you, it it should
You feel like the door
Keeps you safe at your core
A chain saw
A vampire's gnaw
Anything could get through
But yet, you gave no clue
It is a segment of tree
Look at it an you could see
Even with a lock
It's like a nail in a block
Even the Romans trusted shield
From being struck by arrows in open fields
Yet they trusted metal
Now a glorified flower petal
A door like a huge wall
Stand between you and all

Original Sentences about Glass

1. The space hippo eats candy all day, and once it gets to the bottom of the glass, it sees the tall man.

2. The reflection in the glass of Hippo candy reflects the sky as bring green like the grass and the grass as blue as the grass green sky used to be.

3. The Tall Man trapped within the glass, mere centuries pass like cars on a street a parade balloons.

4. The parade balloons in the glass on the past, morph into a single balloon that looks like a lady bug with a hat.

5. The hippo likes to see the lady bug with a hat, because it symbolizes the coming if swintef, the favorite month of the hippo.

Poem: Invisible

Invisibility
Marked by the rains visibility
That ghost in the rain
Screeched the chalkboard in my brain
How it got there, I could not explain
Moving slow like the wind
Causing the rain drops to bend
Running as fast
As I could from the past
The ghost was neither here nor there
It was made from my fear
Of the darkness and shade
Of the drawing the child made
Hanging on my fridge
A simple metaphysical bridge
The thing in the rain
Was nothing but me from a different plane
Wish I knew what it thought
What it was here for
Why it sought
Instead it stood
Dead as it could
Waiting for me to look
To trap me in its book

New Novel Idea: Psychobotomy

The premise is simple, a man wakes slowly to falling from the sky. Then he wakes finally in the bottom of a crater in the desert.

In his jacket, he finds a blue gun and a letter warning of an attempted escape. It reminds him that he is named Dante.

After attempting to climb from the hole, hr is pulled back by an unseen force.

In a crater next to his own is a man who looks rather similar to Dante. He has decided to go by Dantu.

Dantu has a red gun and a letter he destroys after reading it. Dante and Dantu cannot be more than 40 feet away from each other, and they slowly learning that only one of them can be perceived at a time.

Poetic Movie Review of Transformers: Age of Extinction

Age of Extension
More like Age of Stinkin'
Micheal Bay continues creating bad shots
While mixing it with terrible plot
Even with four subplots
90 minutes in, it isn't one thought
The movie attempts to play into Beast Wars
But that aspect isn't at its core
Mindless action in the raw
Let's explain Romeo and Juliet Law
The lighting is neither hero nor there
The characterization is completely bare
Thought I've seen all four movies
They seem all the same
I can't even remember the hero's names
Explosion after explosion
Bay knows how to keep the motion
As bad as it is, its at least nice to look at
Even so, it's kind of meh
One star out of five
This movie kills my vibe

Poem About Cheese

Cream cheese on the stairs
Bear cheese covered in hairs
Cheese rocket into space
Stuff the gooey goodness in your face
Back off to the cheesey planet
Made of cheeses you won't forget
A fountain
From a cheese mountain
Expect the unexpected
Cheese made from a banana
Cheese made from a hannah
Use you banana gun
To shoot the cheesey sun
It exploseds like a grenade
Like cheese gooey lemon aide
No need to explain
As you let it rain
From the sky blu cheese
Open your mouth, please
Eat it all destroy the light
Wait wait that isn't right.

Invention Idea: Caffeinated Candy

You know tic-tacs? Sure they're cool or whatever.

Thanks other sentence that I also wrote.

Well, they make you breath smell pretty and they are tasty, all of which are super cool traits for food stuffs.

If only bacon made your breath taste good, but alas that be an invention for another day.

This invention of food science is, caffeinated little breath mint things.

You smell good, and you get a little boost of tasty energy, literally sells itself.

Millionaire over night.

Poetic Review of Storks

The thing that I like about Storks
Isn't in the movie per say, its in its heart
Because this baby filled awe-fest
Is an original conquest
Storks is not based on a book
It's a first, so take a look
Three to four plot lines
Neither goes forward or gets left behind
Let the weave and braid
So, we can see how babies are made
An orphan, a bird, and a boy
Will go out of their way
To get them
So, it can reach its final destination
Though its silly
Far fetched and unexplained
It thrives on this feeling of insane
It is sincerely unique and fun
Making me feel tons of emotion
The characters are believable
Having more than one dimension
Think someones is evil?
Look in a different direction
Unlike other films
This one puts emphasis on the writing
Even takes the physics of flying
On a scale of one to ten
I would see this movie again

Blog Post: Jokes

This is a blog post
This is a blog post yeah
This counts as a blog post
Because this is a blog post
This is a blog post yeah
For this blog
For this blog
And it is a poem

When I almost missed my deadline for my blog yesterday, my fiancee said, at least it didn't say.... and then she sang what is written above. I wanted to immortalize it, because it is cute.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Love

Today's topic is love:

Love is an interesting concept. I've wondered over the years if love is necessary like empathy, not because I don't want it but because I wonder if it is a hindrance.

Love makes us do a bunch of ridiculous things. Sometimes dumb. It makes us become irrational and weak, but it also makes us strong and brave.

I know why the physical aspects of love exist; pheromones. Yet as far as the wildlife kingdom is concerned most species do not exhibit love, at least at the classical level.

Love seems to be, like emotions, a fundamental aspect of being human. At the same time we designed the concept, at least linguistically.

Either way, I believe that love is necessary. It allows us to feel happiness. It also allows us the strength to continue. Love may just be a continuation of survival instincts. A good chunk of people after surviving certain life threatening situations.

Love is an amazing feeling, but at the same time it gives us a reasoning to thrive and survive, which is strange, but beautiful.    

Serious Time: Friendship

Life is about living in the moment. It is easy to think that you will never see someone again. Or that your childhood home will leave you alone. Both could be true, I can agree.

The thing is though, you have your memories, regardless. Your friends don't stop being your friends, just because you are far away.

I have friends to this day, that if they called me, I'd be there for them. Distance and time don't change any of that.

You will make new friends and so will they, but nothing will change. And even if it changes, you will always caee abput them.

Stay true.

Blast from the past pome

In the past
In my class
I'd continue to write
Despite

I should have studied
Meh, but why
Not like I need the square root of pie

No, instead I could be lost
Thinking about Robert or Jack Frost
Look towards a window
And wonder why I'd go

I could hold my head high
And procrastinate
Head in my projects 3 minutes late
Be the obnoxiois guy

Lost within the pages
Yellowed through the ages
I can tell a story
To get away from whatever's boring

Poetic Review of Toy Story 3

Oh, wish is me
This is number three
Of the Toy Story Trilogy

Like the Hangover movies
The second and first are so so
Then the third gets it out of the low

This one, in the future
With a college kid
Actually realizes what Stinky Pete had to say

The strange concept
Is slightly deceptive
Because the villians want the same

Look at it real close
We only care because who the screenwriters chose
Beyond that, it shows s a different side

It is another side of toy life
And reminds us, thy we grow up
It's us right in our sweet spot

It feels vaguely like Disney
Waited an eternity
To make a sequel to the movie
Just to make me cry

Maybe the third Cars
Can get 5/5 stars
Why do we all want to cey

Wacky Wednesday - Ice Light

I don't know if this has been invented yet, but what did you expect.

Here's what it is. It's the things that aren't ice cubes. The plastic little shapes that are filled with jellgjat we freeze to put in drinks instead of water. Makes since becase I don't want an ice tray.

Okay, so why don't we create those same things, except they are lights. It would be fun for parties and in the dark, we could so whose drink is whose.

You need one? You need 700 of them. Instant millionaire.

Poetic Movie Review of Toy Story 2

This movie made of recycled plot
Was the first sequel to a Pixar thought
It is half of Toy Story One
Mixed with one of Hoth's Suns
Wood loses his arm
But it seems to do no harm
Buzz has crappy friends
Today's standards make it so so animation
It holds up fairly well
Despite what the plot is trying to tell
It does remind us that villians
Arent always about killing
It also reminds everyone
That Disney likes the bad guys to suffer a ton
You stink Pete
Let's make this again on repeat
This is the weakest Toy Story by far
4.6 out of five stars

First Thought of the Month

Evil has to exist.

Evil is how good thins can happen. Good things in general, at least nowadays are in response o evil.

War happens, and we try our best to support people. Medicine advances because of war.

Evil is making something that fails, but trying better next time.

Eventually people will not need evil, buy not today.