Monday, August 21, 2017

5 Stories About Eclipses

1. The elephant eclipsed my view of the rhino in my background playing a pickup game with Jordan.

2. An eclipse of the heart is really just your lungs lining up with your spleen to overshadow your heart.

3. The eclipse created a gap in the universe, allowing people to see what monsters they had slowly became due to pollution.

4. When the sun opened up in the sky, it was the first time we understood that an eclipse was a cover for Cosmonauts to land on the moon.

5. What did Terra say to Luna, when she stood in front of him: "you're blocking my sun."

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Perfect Idea: Web Sight

So it's basically just a play on words.

But what it is, is a livestream of a spider spinning a web. Why? Because it is cheap really. It sounds interesting. Low production costs.

Plus, just... People want it.

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Top 10 Ways to Cook Chicken

1. Nugs

Nuggets are a classic and the perfect way to make chicken. Especially if you like a stomach ache.

2. Chicky Chicky Parm Parm

Cheese? Chicken? Yes! Please!

3. Sweet and Sour Chicken
It's like nugs but with sauce thrown on.

4. Fajita-ed
Because who doesn't like them fajitas.

5. Strips
Like loooooong nugs.

6. Chicken sandwich
Because bread is always the kind of carb I am looking for.

7. Chicken Cordon Bleu
It's just fun to say. Go ahead and say it aloud. I'm not going to tell.

8. Chicken Stirfy
You stir, you fry, you eat.

9. Fried
If you like gnawing on bones, this is for you.

10. Coco Chili Chicken
It is three cs. It three times as delicious.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Poetic Movie Review of The Dark Tower

The Dark Tower is 90 minutes
But it feels like another hour
Because it takes a lifetime
To get to the core storyline
Though I hate the Man in Black
Before I knew the movie was fact
Matthew McConaughey was a terrible choice
Lacking the sinister chill in his voice
Walter is suppose to be evil
Worse than the Devil
Yet he gets trapped with one liners
Either way the Gunslinger takes the show
Dealing effortless and brilliant blows
Up until he final scene, he never forget
The face of his father, or his regrets
The plot pulls from too many books
Like a strange library robbing crook
Though, it flashes other worlds in universe
It does so grandiose and terse
Lifting a curtain of fog
To show a half assed thought
Pennywise wouldve been more wise
Regardless the movie is slow
Despite being short
It felt drawn out like a book report
A book report by someone who didn't read the book
But for a movie
It was okay, if not moving
It could've been better
Given the source material
But you've heard the same spiel
With this in mind
I give this movie
2 out of 5

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Writing Prompt to End All Writing Prompts

This prompt isn't for writing specifically. No. This is about overcoming whatever could be standing in your way.

Now, how it works is simple. Manifest the idea of your writer's block. See what stands in your way. A certain character. A certain villian. The lack of ice cream in your life. Whatever it may be manifest an image in your head. Just a physical form. Try manifesting it into the shape of a rectangle.

Now, take that block and shove it away. Hide it away. Watch it get locked in a drawer. Manifest it into another time zone.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Poem: Sleep

Sleep is for the meek
Counting is for the sheep
Close your eyes
And count to five
Take a breath
Feel the pain that's left
From the core of the day
From remenants of yesterday
Now, drift to the comfy side
Of a bed, on your side
Until it's 9am
And you need strawberry jam
Off to sleep
Off to dream
So boring
But all-knowing
Venture into your psyche
Deliver yourself from evil
Forgive yourself to spite me
Lead yourself into REM
Find a dream you, to forgive
Bow close your eyes
Cover your pupils
Because where you're going
There are no loopholes

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Prime Time for Crime: Paper for a Wall

I have an idea. List it on Pintrest and make a billion dollars. Send me a thousand of those dollars.

Plan?

Print some designs on paper. Sell it for $1 a square as small wall paper. Or designer build a wall paper. Million dollars.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Let's Do Bands: Poem

Let's start a band
Sure we can
But bands are dead
An out dated idea
What's in you head
Yeah and?

We'll need a name
One that's lame
Not a gimmick
Or a mimic
Something deranged
Maybe letter rearranged

Maybe number
And letters
A color perhaps
Like 3D Purple
Or a 8 grey wormholes

Okay but what will we play
Music, okay?
But what instrument
What does that mean?
How many instruments do you need?

Four or five?
Are we dead or alive?
A trumpet a drum?
Or some monkey thumbs
I don't Know what instruments are
Is a car one
Is a banana one
An icecream?
Well this was all pie dream

Pie Dream is the best name
And I can't explain
Let's make a band
And that's the name