Page One

Chapter One

In the Darkness

The first time I heard about Dante Domino, I thought that he was an amazing legend, and if we were ever in any trouble he would come to our rescue. Every major history book that accounted for Dracula’s resurgence in reality 100 years ago mentioned him. The legend stated that with one hand, Dante was able to wield Excalibur and decapitate Dracula with a single swing. Then after Dracula’s defeat, he sought to destroy all of the books that Dracula had used in his plan. Using the holy blade, Dante was able to burn the books and destroy the fictitious creatures. After his quest was over, Dante faded in obscurity. Some people believed that he vanished into the realm of literature to live out his immortality. Some people thought that he had taken refuge in a cave, so that he could protect Excalibur for eternity.

Most people chose to believe that he never existed. Partially because there was no evidence other than the stories passed down for centuries. I was ten when I found my first copy of Dante’s supposed short novel titled Some Kind of Hero. It depicted him as amazingly brave. It also depicted him falling in love with a woman named Carly. She was similarly brave. In the book she had stabbed Dracula in the back to draw his attention, and then when he moved closer to her, she engaged him in a fist fight long enough for Dante to slice the vampire’s head off.

However, Dante was hurt too badly to walk away from the ordeal. Carly held the head of the dying hero in her lap until he took his last breath. It was a tragic story, but the people who chose to believe that Dante existed, chose to see the ending different. Sometimes they even claimed that Dante would not have been able to write such a book while he was on his mission. It was a fake. It was a phony. It wasn’t real. Those people chose to believe Dante faked his death, and survived the ordeal with Dracula, and that was how the book existed.

A single Haiku

I always believe
That believing is belief
That is my belief


The reason I have done this is because for the next week, I will be uploading some pages from a book I am working on. Stay tuned.

Theory: Pair of Jeans

What does the pair of jeans mean? Pair means two? Jeans have two legs? I think that some sort of the Buckle has been holding out on my second pair of jeans! I should be getting a pair! It is called a pair of legs! I want two jeans for the price of one! This is the only way I will be happy again.

Poetic Review of Crystal Pepsi

The thing about Crystal Pepsi

Is that once you see

It's magic floats away

Because it tastes, how do you say

Like Pepsi with dark science ways

It is clear

So you think you have nothing to fear

You are wrong

It wont take long

Spit it out before it corrupts your throat

Drink too much and you will bloat

This is bad

Drinking it made me sad.

5 Sentences: NEW AND IMPROVED

1. If you look at a piece of meatloaf close enough, you will see that while it is clearly meat, there are tiny pieces of bread that have colonized this chunk of meat.

2. A parachute is like a blanket that you tuck into a back pack that is made of nylon and can save you if gravity tries to murder you.

3. Dying from a skydiving accident, should instead be called a murder via gravity.

4. Why in the world/the universe does gravity get to get away with these heinous acts, is it because it is like a theory or something.

5. The Cheese goblins worship the cheese wiz, but he ended up getting canned for crackers.

Mayo of Burgah Tahown Redux

I am the Mayo of Burgah Tahown
When you are here, try not to frown
The Hotdogs bark and chase their buns
Trying to catch their ketchup tails in the sun
Bacon proposes to Patty with an onion ring
She says yes, because of course she would
They'll relish the sound of the Taco Bell's ring
Their first dance is the salsa
Her dress if made of bright blue cotton candy
Seeing this makes an old mayo sing
Then they chi chi real smooth
It's a Sunny D AY out in the world
Cheese Louise knitted them a fine Swiss blanket
And they Swiss roll out in style
I love you honey, they say
As they roll to their honey moon pie
It's great to be the Mayo kind of guy

Poem Made of Words

I write
Despite
I have a computer
But I am one of fewer
Who prefers ink
To an uplink
That nice hand to paper
Light as a feather
I want my ideas to flow
Key strokes are just slow
I want everything I think
To appear first with no hyperlink
I need to believe that
Spell check won't cut the fat
It needs to be this way
Tomorrow and everyday