This silly Saturday post is a DR. Hounchell lecture about watermelon. I have 22 easy steps to enjoy it. Follow closely.
1. Firmly check if it is rip by patting it.
2. If it sounds hollow, it is ripe enough
3. Buy said watermelon/pull it from the ground
4. Take said watermelon to your home
5. Find a very sharp knife
6. Lay down paper, so you don't get watermelon juice everywhere
7. Slice up said water melon
8. Do this by cutting it like a huge orange.
9. Make sure your slices are about the length of a baseball
10. Find a bowl
11. Chill watermelon
12. Come back in several hours
13. Check to see if watermelon is cold
14. If watermelon is cold, pull from container
15. Put watermelon in bowl, so you don't drip it's stickiness on the floor
16. Find a fork for said watermelon slices
17. Drizzle sugar on said watermelon
18. Skip steps 1 through 17
19. Throw away gross watermelon
20. Contemplate why people even buy that stuff
21. Take gross trash out.
22. YOU'RE WELCOME
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