6 Original Sentences about Bears

1. Vampire bats were interesting, but in the woods of night, there were sometimes vampire bears who always eat mushrooms covered in gravy.

2. Bears could solve all of the world's problems, if they weren't being lazy and eating space honey.

3. The fire couldn't destroy the home, because the time bears were barely there, so this time could not fire.

4. Two bears and a box of thin mints gained sentience and argued about which Girl Scout cookies were best.

5. 10 years in the future and human and bear kind of survived everything, even the rising of the sunspots.

6. Why isn't there an emoji of a bear with a jetpack?

Poetic Movie Review of Logan

Starting with he future
Without a suture
Riddled with darkness
And the best of the worse
It takes your hope
Leaves you breathless, choke
It brings it back
Just in time
To make sure you do not die
Without neither superheroics
Or many villainous voices
The story gets itself
From the family shelf
For a movie so bloody and gory
It really focuses on family
No one acts badly
Not even the baddies
For once the inhumans
Feel more human than mutant
It is not to long
And it is well paced
Without any plans to replace
The beauty of the characters
Or their actors
The costuming and the chorography
This rivals the X2 movie
This movie left me excited, hopeful and sad
But I'm not even mad
With that in mind
5 out of 5

Top 10 Directions

1. Up.

Up is an amazing direction. It is into the sky. Balloons and airplanes go into the sky.

2. North

North is up on the map. It is also the direction of the North star.

3. Forward

It is the flat version of up.

4. Backwards

It is reverse up.

5. Right

Right has then strange sense of being not only correct but satisfying.

6. Left

Meh. I ran out of ideas.

7. Sideways

Everyone always thinks of forwards and backwards, but sideways is the perfect way to dodge. Sidestepping is the way ofthe future.

8. Down

Drills drill down don't they? Down is fun. There's​ like magma and diamonds and magma.

9. West

Fivel went west, so... The west is old.

10. Lastly, North by Northwest.

It is just fun to say.

Poem Time: Grace of God

A fairytale
Without fail
In Jurassic Park
In my heart
You're my world

On one knee
I can see
The adventure I chose
Page 2 to continue

Smart and compassionate
For cats, humans, and rats
A smile to light the hall
Even if she's hardly graceful

The magic in my heart
Will keep us close even when apart
Slight of hand
And a wedding band

Nerdy, Dorky, gorgeous
I'm glad we are soon to become us
Monopolies may be against the law
Unless it is about our love

Dr. Hounchell's Theory or Life and Everything: Movies

Today's topic is movies.

Movies are those things that create moving pictures on a canvas.

But I think that film has a secret hidden function. Why is their casting for movies? Why are people so insistent on using particular actors that look like characters? Why? Why? WHY?

I'll tell you why. Because movies are trapped pocket dimensions where "Hollywood" digs for unobtainum! That's why it took JJ Abrams so long to finish Avatar! It is a reference to that. He knows. He might be the only one.

Like a ghost, film is translucent! So you can shine a flashlight through the film and see what is happening I'm the pocket dimension. Beware of Hollywood. They know.

A New Crime for You

As always this is a disclaimer. For I am not a layer or a judge and I cannot determine if you will or willn't go to jail.

Sell free firewood on craigslist, but the trick is that they have to cut the wood themselves with their own saw and the tree is standing. Use this method to clear a large area without having to do work or pay anyone.

I'm a genius. I told you so.

Poetic Movie Review of Beauty and the Beast (2017)

A tale as old as time
And I'm already bored
I appreciate this movie and its lore
But it is over play and out of time
A movie out of sync
And yet as something to say
But it is a glorified replay
A movie that doesn't have to think
I understand, I truly do
But it is overplayed, outdone, and too soon
Remakes feel like a full moon
It happens every month, its nothing new
That all being said
It has promise and beauty
Great acting, very moody
Actors that are well led
It is a tale as old as time
Isn't that just swell
Over time though, we know what to expect from Belle
I get it, the song has rhyme
Disney hasn't quite found that place
Where the beauty of their storytelling
Meets the beast of the movies their selling
It could have been worse, if that's the case
All in all, I was no enthralled
But 3 out of five for keeping my attention at all.

Writing Exercise: Running with Scissors

I know. I find myself trying to figure out exactly where my writing is going all the time. For some reason it continues to go to this place that is both a hellish nightmare and a place of redemption. What if I never escape this place?

No worries voice I am creating in my head. In fact, double no worries. Two fat zeroes in the worry-dar. It turns out that all you really need to escape anything is an existential crisis. How would you trigger that, you aren't asking? Easy! Write a scene where it is your character's birthday and they are turning 30, 40, 50, 1000, 1,000,000 years old. Some fat round number with a zero in it.

Then have them contemplate their existence with all of their friends present.

Also, Happy Birthday to me.

Top 10 Best Cheeses: List-megaddon

1. 10 year old aged cheddar.

This cheese is not only sharp, but it is so good that I wouldn't eat more 4mm cube if I were you. Or you will never be able to poop.

2. Aged Gouda

Sorry, but aged cheese is just delicious. I can't be mad, you know.

3. Smoked Gouda

Smoke and cheese. It is a match made in a hellscape that I'd be okay to live in.

4. Pepper Jack
Cheesey? Peppery? It is like the jalapeno cheddar bites but reversified

5. Swiss

Swiss has holes in it and holes is a good movie.

6. ASIAGO

Makes me feel all fancy to say and it is all crumbly and such

7. Nacho

I have no reason. It is merely a food with a cheese named after it.

8. Cream cheese

It can be cake? Cake? Cake? CAKE!

9. Provolone

It is like a tortilla made of cheese. Put been dip in there! Screw the rules!

10. Colby

Supah chill cheddar and we know how I feel about cheddar.

The Perfect Plan: Paintable

This is a simple idea and less of an invention per say.the idea is that, you have a space in which a single person can rent and just go beserk with paint on the walls and anything to release stress.

Charge them for the paint! Charge them for the room! It is perfect with onyl profit margins.

A.M. In the P.M. Untamed: Setting High Expectations

As with the first version of untamed, I am writing this as a darker more sinister version of a column that I write for my college paper. The Washburn Review. The premise? Setting very high goals.

Though long winded, my original article was fine. It could have been shorter for certain.

As it stands, I believe that setting very high and nearly unobtainable goals is the correct way to goal set. My reasoning is simple, it forces the person trying to obtain them to reach.

The reach may tear the muscle fibers in your arm (if we are to go with the metaphor) but they will come back stronger. Everyday you'll​ have to come back and try again.

In this way, I think that the feeling of failing ones goals and wanting to see them to their conclusion is what pushes drive. I guess though what do I know, I've only been posting a blog post every single day for more than a year despite the fact that people told me not to do it.

Fuel drive with failure. My motto. That and no rules, only suggestions.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Advice

Today's topic: Advice

Advice is a strange concept in itself. For one, it is usually an admission of guilt to a degree. As I've experienced this situation and I can advise you how to do it differently or better. Sometimes both.

Yet, the word itself when broken down morphologically is actually Ad - like advertisement and vice - like a bad thing or a sin. So it is ads for vices. I find that fascinating actually. When I sit back and think about it... That's​ a good point.

When someone attempts to give advice in a situation, most people listen to the advice, but if they've already made their mind up, how will it change anything? So, when you are giving advice for a specific situation, what is really happening is an advertisement. I did this fun thing but this bad thing happened.

What a revaluation? Right? Think about it.

Poetic Movie Review of The Pick of Destiny

Looking for a movie across the Netflix
Stop, stop this
Destiny has already chosen
And I am you movie liaison
It is a tale about jabels
Told through song and strength of fable
He has a perfect band
Greatest band in all the land
His meatloaf father is ass
His mentor is Kyle Gass
He wants to rock
But his family does not
We follow two grown men
Once enemies then friends, then both again
They Chase a Pick of Destiny
So they can channel creativity
It has to do with the devil
Has nothing to do with evil
While retaining the very real truth
We follow a pair of hopeful goofs
It plays like a long form music video
but it is a movie though
Jack Black has skill
And he is back to thrill
Take a look and get the point
I promise that it won't disappoint
It may be no masterpiece
Yet it is definitely
A 3
on a scale to five
I believe

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Quantum Mechanics

Today's topic? It is above... So read it.

Why do I Dr. (NOT A REAL DOCTOR) Hounchell think Quantum Mechanics exist? Well, as you know they are they study of tiny little quantum things. Like quarks, gluons, neutrinos, Gambino's, basically all the -inos. But why is it here?

Clearly since it is about how we have no idea how it works or why. As Einstein was once quoted as saying, "Someone who says they know everything about ______ knows nothing." I think then that it is because Quantum Mechanics is actually a cover up for magic. The commoner may not understand it, but grand time wizards like Einstein do.

He was GERMAN!! That is the country where like every other fairy tale takes place. And his last words were never understood, because​ the attending physician didn't speak German. How did she even know it was German? Clearly it was a spell.

I'm rambling. But you get the drill.

UNTAME Hounchell: In Defense of Negativity

I write for my school's paper, the Washburn Review. Since, I have a regular job,I mostly write columns. My most recent column was about how negativity can be good.

This is that same article with limitations and without restrictions. An untamed version.

Negativity. It is soemthing we all feel and if you think not, then you sir are a list. We all feel negative. We feel negative about our blood tests, our History tests, our drug test, all tests really.

Why then do some strange people have to say dumb things like, "I can't deal with your Negativity!"

Maybe I can't deal with your positivity! Negativity is valid. If at least one person in a horror movie acted on feelings that they vocalize maybe they wouldn't all die. Why is everyone having sex and feeling positive in a horrible situation.

Negative and positive is the battery of your being. It allows different responses like flight or fight. Live or die! To idiot or not to idiot. The point is to know if your feeling is valid. You can't always be happy. It would be strange to be happy while at a funeral for example? Allowances can't be made in those situations and not others.

But you can be happy if you need to be. Different people have different responses to different stimuli. Deal with it.

Poem: Cream and Sugar

"How would you like your coffee?"
They ask easy
But it isn't easy peasy
Do I want coffee with cream
Coffee that can fuel my dreams
Coffee with sugar or heart
Coffee that makes me fall apart
The kind of coffee that makes my day
The kind of coffee that makes everything okay
The one with Carmel
The one with mocha
I don't even understand what mocha is
Do I want to give up, get some drink with fizz
Do I need sweet
To be upbeat
Do I need cream
To let out a triumphant​ scream
Do I need my voice
From a cup with ice
Do I need Expresso
To express myself
"I'll take it black"
I meant to say back
But lack in fine in verse
And it is the color of the universe
Warm and hot
Like a distant thought
And as I breathe and expand
The coffee creates the land

Poetic Movie Review of Balto

Part wolf
Part dog
He just wanted a job
But this 90s villian
Was not chilling
He stood steaming
His howl reeling
While the people in town died
And he continued to hide
He threw Balto off to make him unfavorable
Make him seem unreliable
But in the end Balto came through
Just like reality too
It is classic 90s
With cliches to boot
Three henchmen
One of them brain dead
One smart as a nail
The other cool, but beginning to fail
Hero whose misunderstood
Privileged one wants you out of he neighborhood
Regardless it is good and it holds up
Balto made others feel alive
In theatre regard four out of five

Writing Exercise: PIE

We have all had that PIE that has changed our lives! Chocolate Pecan. Apple. For weird people, cherry. Honestly, how can you like a fruit pie that isn't apple. Clearly Apple is the what fruit.

Regardless, everyone had that PIE. This writing Excercise will have you writing about the first time your character has experienced their PIE

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything

Today's topic is the picture to the left.

Notice for a moment what the sign says?
Do you notice how the word all is in italics. Like this italics? All? Why would you have a door that would be shut at all times. At all times? So, if there is a fire, I can't open the door?

If the building starts to burn to the ground, is the default for the door to be closed? Like will the whole place burn to the ground and the door still be close? Is this the state of being for the door?

This is a hinged wall with a handle. It is like having a car that has a sign that says Never start ever.

I so commend the person or deity who placed this elegantly worded piece of brilliance onto the surface of the door.

Unfortunately, I could not find the author of this art and it breaks my heart.

Top Ten Favorite Villains that I have Created: Listmageddon

1. Limes

They are citrus-y. The limelight can easily change you into lime stone. Like a strange version of lime medusa.

2. Aven

Time traveling deity with only 24 hours to live. He has all of the powers and he is scary and full of vengeance.

3. Leap Day

He is upset that he only gets to exist for one day every four years and he is the embodiment of the sin of lust.

4. Dracula

Because I can.

5. Fate and Death

They've been trying to kill Cupid for hundreds of years. And they succeed eventually.

6. Space/Warren

The embodiment of space, Warren is able to wield space against his nemesis, Time/Greg.

7. The Devil

She was buying some weird things at the grocery store and she isn't too nice.

8.  A Mirror

It reflects what could be like instantly and stuff.

9. Heroin Dealer Named Piper

Some local kids killed her cat. If they don't get her 10 grand, then she will kill them.

10. The Beard of Abraham Lincoln

There's no way to explain that.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Generational Gap

The generational gap is today's topic. It is one of those strange things that everyone feels, but somehow they never say.

But what is it? Some people will have you believe that it has something to do with different generations thinking that they are the best generation and blah arguments and blaher arguments.

But that isn't it. Clearly, this has something to do with aliens. Older people don't believe in aliens. Oldest people do. Young people do. Younger people don't. Granted these are broad generalizations, but I stand by it. This is why the young people get along with the oldest people? Clearly, I have cracked the case.  :)

You are welcome. Salute your alien overlords for a free Popsicle.

Cotton Candy Quilt

You like crime? But you don't like jail? Good news, you only go to jail if you fail. (Do not try crime, because I didn't suggest it.)

If you don't like jail, but think crime is for you, then I suggest this to you.

Make cotton candy. I believe it is done by putting sugar into a dryer or something.

Now, turn that into yarn! Now stitch that into a quilt! Sell it for lots of money and don't tell anyone that it is sugar.

You just made a cool amount of money, probably like $300?

Anyway, ti is a lot of work, so probably not very worth the crime.

Poem Time: Inability to Dance

I can't dance
Under any circumstance
But when I do
My pants are possessed
My brain shuts down process
I move
With no groove
I continue
To do nothing new
I wave my hands
Ignore the bands
I wiggle
I schwiggle
I don't know what that means
But I dance like a jumping bean
I let the beat
Fill my chest
I do my best
To dance
And even though my pants
Think I creep like ants
I try again
With a friend
Spill my drink
What do they think?
But I schwiggle
And I wiggle
Continue to continue
Dance until I'm no longer blue
Until I'm red hot
With a single thought
Dance

The Paralysis Excercise (Bonus Post) (Ponus)

In my Acting 1 class, we were tasked with acting as though there was danger that we could not stop. We could pick any situation or form of paralyzing mechanism.
In my group, who at the time I couldn't see, the impending and unstoppable dangers were being in a box filled with water and being taunted by someone.
Mine of course was a guillotine style execution. If I'm being honest with myself, I'd say that I thought it wasn't going to work. Yet,after standing there, seeing the crowd, my body summoned fear and anger. My heart started to pick up pace and then I could feel fear. I could feel the cold air around the stage. I could see the people waiting for me to die. It was a surreal and strange feeling.
I believe that this has benefits in writing as well. The ability to summon emotion on paper is a powerful skill indeed. All you have to do is sit still and conjure a situation that you are in and let your body respond.
Disclaimer: I couldn't get my heart to slow down for a few minutes. Happy acting and good luck.

Writing Excercise: Star Rust

Stare into the sky. Just continue to do for what seems like too much. Now, all you have to do is a write a story about someone who is looking at the same stars that you were just looking at. It doesnt matter why they are looking. Just attempt to get the amazment and wonder inside of the idea.

My 10 Favorite Colors

1. PURPLE
It is the perfect color. Nuff said.

2. Blue
It is part of purple.

3. Red
Again. This is part of purple.

4. Lavender.
It is a version of purple.

5. Pink
It is like purple's lesser known cousin

6. Periwinkle
100% purple's lesser known cousin

7. Green
Like the cool opposite of purple

8. Black
Like night time purple.

9. Purple again.
Just for good measure.

10. Orange
Blah blah blah it is a good flavor at least.

Poetic Movie Review of Fifty Shades Darker

I'm unaware whether this is darker
It is in fact grittier
The lone girl stands a foot
Waiting for commands that could
Change the way that she behaves
Oh unsuspected sex positions
It feels long, but then it feels longer
You try to watch it, but it gets harder
Feels as though it has ten acts
And several sexy attacks
It tacks on an ending with death
But it back tracks with 5 minutes left
Renegotiate the terms
To hell with the words
It felt like the emotion was connected
And some thoughts were unexpected
Though it was strange
And a romance midranges
I'd still only watch it one time
As such two out of five

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Black Holes

Today's Topic is Black Holes.

Black holes are actually black, because a truly black object cannot be perceived, because it doesn't reflect light.

Another thing that cannot be perceived is a 4 Dimensional object. From our point of view it would be impossible to see, because we cannot comprehend a 4th dimension of space.

So, what if black holes are just hole punches in the universe from a 4th grader within the 4th dimension. As such, we could not see it and it would look to go somewhere, when I try does not.

Is this right? Is this worng? What do I know?

Wacky invention: Frozen Assets

This premise is simple. It is a gel that you can put money into, so that you can put it into your freezer. From there, it freezes solid and as this, it makes it very difficult to pull your money free without chipping at ice. This means that any silly thing that you want to buy is something that you will have to think about. By thinking about it, maybe you will realize you don't actually want it.

Stray Bullet

A stray bullet
Moving faster than thought
Not of the metal kind
But of the mental mind

A stray bullet, too fast
Cannot be held back to it's past
It's been fired, and cannot stop
A bullet faster than thought

Though as gravity pulls and tugs
The bullet shrugs
It cannot be stopped
Though slowly it drops

The bullet could continue
But it can never start anew
Unstoppable as it thought
Slowly the bullet drops

It plows through earth
It cannot be hurt
The bullet is a simple thought
Slowly the bullet drops

Thought the bullet could not drop
But without a second thought
Down went the bullet
Now it isn't

The Top 10 Best Pokemon: Listmageddon

1. Muk. 

Muk is a political statement about how we treat our water. As thus, I have decided to never throw trash into water, ever again.

2. Trubbish

This pokemon was created solely to remind us that animals are affected by the trash we throw out. Much like the animals that get their heads caught in 6-packs.

3. Vanillish

This pokemon is just ice cream. Who doesn't like ice cream? Probably communists.

4. Voltorb

Voltorb exists to remind children of the dangers of electricity. It does this clearly by exploding when agitated.

5. Klefki

This pokemon exists specifically to remind us how we are an embodiment of our possessions. This clearly isn't right, so we should try to be fear of all the locks that bind us.

6. Rotom

Some people think that this pokemon is bad because it is just a pokemon that possesses electronic to some degree. They are wrong. It is awesome and it is the word motor spelled backwards.

7. Girafarig

People seem to dislike this one specifically because it is a "strange" design but it is a constant reminder to not stand behind a giraffe, because that is dangerous. 

8. Mr. Mime

Do I need to explain?

9. Chandlure

I know you think this is bad, because it is a possessed chandler, but it is a ghost. Every house that is haunted just magically springs a chandler. 

10. Bublasaur

No explanation 

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Existence

Today's topic is existence.

A pretty big topic, clearly. What does it mean to exist? Some people will have you believe that it has something to do with the number 42 or that it has something to do with how much you dis/like pineapple on pizza. Others will have you believe there is no reason. It is coincidental and random that were exist.

I am not one of those people. Instead, let me tell you about the Otter Effect. This special effect is called such because of what it makes you feel. When you see an otter, how do you feel? When you see an otter by itself, how do you feel? The point of existing, is simple not to be an outsiotter.

Your reasoning to exist, is to be a collective. You must try to find your ottersand merely get the enjoyment of cracking clams on your tummy. Video of an Otter to Prove a Point

Your reasoning is to share in the love and joy of your groups clams, even if they are pineapple on pizza or the number 42.

Stay Cool my friends.