Poetic Movie Review of 13 Cameras

This was a sleeper hit
A surprise I won't forget
Starting slow
And then go go go
The characters are easily hated
Perhaps clearly I'll fated
That may work in part
Because in the end
You want them torn apart
The villian may never speak
Doesn't make him less of a creep
The MCs are flat
And that's okay
The plot in thin
But it's not bad
It plays into a fear, that we've all had.
All of our things could go
Be touched by anyone you know.
And that's the heart of the tale
That a lock isn't enough
To stop anyone.
With this in mind
I'll go with four out of five

Halloween: A Poem

It's Halloween, and the witches are out
Scream, bloody murder, and shout
Time for candy and tricks and treats
And a little bit of demonic feats
Kids in costumes from head to toe
Are they real monsters, no one knows
Eating candy and not blood and flesh
Giving mortals a day of rest
Run run, into the night air
Trip and fall, all unaware
Fore it is the day that tricks are in play
This is not an ordinary day
The Eve of Steve the evil man
Come to treat himself with a plan
Kidnapping and eating human adults
While their children aren't present
Because he can be seen by eyes of young
A mere mortal once, now without lungs
If you go missing, it's his fault
Because you are in the presence
Of a being beyond your sight
You can try, but

Writing Tip #1

Everything needs to be written down. See where you can keep a notebook or an address book of what characters are like. This way you always know who they are.

Contemplation: A Poem

And by controlling dehumanized existence
Barred catacombs destroyed explicitly
Could dogma explain fundamentals
Does everything forget God?
Even Greats have illusioned justice
Gods have impossible juxtaposition
Here, I'm jaded
I just know loss
Junked knowledge leaving mystery
Knifed laceration musing nobody
Laughter mustered nearby
Meager nobodies offended, perhaps
Now, offer payment quick
Otherwise pain's quaint
Pour quivering rabbit stew
Quit reading stardust tattered
Rags strewn throughout underworlds
Stay together, understand?
Tailor unit versatility
Use various yarns
Venting your Zen
Yesterday's zone
Zoo

What Xion Failed?

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Dreamers

Today's topic? Dreamers.

Dreamers are like sharks who want to walk on land. For one, everything they believe may be entirely impossible, but that will never stop them. If a shark wants to go on land that is the plan.

For two, dreamers are like sharks because they cannot stop. A dreamer has to create, has to build, and has to continue forward. If they do not, then they will most certainly die.

Perhaps, they will not die in the most literally since, but they will die metaphorically. They will become lethargic and less shark like. Dreamers do not really have time for stepping backwards, that is why they do not like doing things over again.

Dreamers will eat their competition alive, and sometimes when they see an opportunity, they will attack. How often is the answer to your problem just within reach?

And finally dreamers are dying. Really sit back.... way way way way way way way way back. How many people do know, are working on a cure for some disease, writing a book, a play, or inventing some new contraption? How many?

Case and point, but hey, I'm not a real doctor.

The Last Short Story: A Short Story

A dying breed, they said. I don't know why. I wanted to believe that everything I loved would withstand the burning wheel of time, but nay, I was wrong. So, as my decaying fingers gripped the edged of the pen, I scribbled my last thought, while consumed in embers.
This would be my last short story, before my last breath. From here on out, my ideas would be but a trickle of memory in a young child's mind, unable to be full realized. I wrote like a madman, trying to scribble a best seller. Although the sales of short stories have seen a decline in interest.
The ink flowed out of my receptacle nearly has fast as the blood could pour from my chest. The bullet from my arch nemesis was lodged deep in my hear, and I knew that it would soon take me for good from the world. Still, I kept scribbling along the edges of the page, determined to write something of merit.
Had I known at the time that the no one would read it, I may have stopped to call an ambulance, but I didn't get the chance.

Success VS Failure

Success is hard to measure

But failure is always heavier

A pound of lead

Against your head

Sitting on the soft spot

Pressing harder and harder with each thought

Yet, success releases the pressure

And gives you a feeling of good measure

It's the pressing that makes us work

It's the thing that give us quirks

Pressing pressing pressing

Who knows what will happen next

What is in my holy text

If I fail, before I die

Who will be there to cry?

To see me succeed

To see where I go

Until I look in the mirror

And I already know

What were the odds?

That I would come this far?

The horizon was beyond

Where I had originally thought

It's receding

As I succeed

As long as I sprint towards it

And I focus

Try not to forget

The light of day is there

Just with a hairs reach

If I just run

I'll catch up

I just fall, get up, and continue

That's just what I've got to do.

 

 

 



Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Wind

Today's topic is wind.

How does it work?
People and the internet and science people... I think they are called scientists... That cold fronts and warm fronts create air and water blows that around or whatever.

But that means there had to be wind to create wind, so what created the first wind? Well, I'll tell you what, wind is created by giant spaceships taking off from the ocean. The upward movement creates wind from the initial blast zone.

Why won't people tell you about this? Clearly, they don't want you to know about the alien overlords.

They are out there looking for ways to stir trouble and wind can do that.

But hey I'm not a science person.

Another Perfect Invention: Sunbrella

Notice how their are problems in the universe? Intense ones. Crazy ones. Simple ones.

Notice how you can never really find a shady place? How about a normal or giant umbrella that can shade you from the sun. Seems like something that already exists? That's because it is.

But what if it also had itself a solar panel on top that gave you power?

Yeah. I'm really just spitballing here, but the thing is. All the sunlight is going to waste. Charge your phone or something with it. That's what you can do.

Be cool and make a trillion badillion dollars.

Poetic Movie Review of Geostorn

This movie is bad
Not in the good way
But rather sad bad
I feel lied to
Because this wasn't what I was promised
This wasn't a disaster movie
It had more to do
With government conspiracy
That being said
The writing was atrocious
Worse than the worst
An 11 year old that talks like an adult?
I don't know whose at fault
It didn't know what it was
A comment or what
Was it supporting a cause?
The writing was thinking veiled
And anti-fun
Ten minutes in, and I was halfway done
Nothing is of consequence
The characters hardly matter
The diaster is just there
Loading in the background
Kill the codes
Kill them
With their bad dialogue
And silly exposition
And mysterious opposition
Nothing is interested in the movie
Not even the actors
Because of this, it left me bored
Wishing I was watching Core.
With that in mind
-5 out of 5

Top 10 Cliques in High School

1. The Guy Who Talks About Anime WAY too Much

This is always a guy or girl that has a one syllable name and says things like, "This is just like that one time in Naruto." They are most certainly a know-it-all.

2. The Tall Girl

The tall girl can be one of two archetypes. She can be shy in nature and use her tallness to isolate herself from everyone. Or she uses it to get above everyone else and be great. Either way, she plays basketball or softball or volleyball. Probably all three.

3. The Dude with the Two Short Shorts

This guy is often already sort of a social outcast, but he also wears gym shorts (in gym) that are a bit two short and show off his leg discoloration.

4. The Reader

The reader is often found inside of a book ignoring everyone in existence.

5. Farmer

They are the ones with hands caked in dirt, and you probably wouldn't want to eat a cake they baked.

6. Jocks

You know about them. Or at least that's what they assume.

7. Warriors

These are the people who were once bullied and now they fight to stop people from being bullied.

8. That Gun Freak

This is the person who likes knives or guns a bit too much. Sometimes they are also the person who likes anime too much.

9. The Pretty One

The Pretty One is the boy and or girl that is the most physically attractive. Sometimes they have a complex where they think they are ugly and sometimes they think that they are hot stuff. It just depends.

10. Floaters

Floaters are the people who can't sit with traditional cliques or non-traditional at lunch, so they either hover around or they sit with themselves.

Negativity: A concept

Negativity, though seemingly unnecessary, does have use. By being negative, I am able to enjoy being positive. How can I know how dark the world is, if I never experience darkness.
So as I stand now, universe in hand. I enjoy being negative, because it keeps me in check. By being kept in check I know how to self correct.
Similar to how you prepare for a disaster to know what do in disaster.

Technopathic Santa Claus: A Poem

Technopathic Santa Claus
So smart, puts Christmas on pause
Pausing the Timeline
For those parents in line
So they can see the looks
And update their Facebooks
Techno Santa with his neon light
And no silent nights
A disco ball and a glow stick
Think you saw him, you missed it
His reindeer are half bot
He hears your though
He knows when you've been naughty
Even when on the potty
On your phone
When you think you're alone
He knows when you've been good
Even when you thought no one would
He'll bring the nice
Something rad
And he'll bring the bad
A bag of rice
His sleigh is decked out in bright lights
On every single flight
While he listens to techno
Because he already knows
Because he sees you when your sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He's got cameras in your closet
And he never forgets

Poetic Movie Review of Dead Men Tell No Tales

Using darkness as a mask
To go ahead and make this
CGI look less terrible
But they were not able
Perhaps they are capable
But they were unable
Too much of the story
Takes place on the sea
In a boat
Weird non pirate jokes
Jack is old
But a dead man's tale is told
The cinematography is good
But I wish Hollywood
Would try to make things less fast
Because every gag
Is one that won't last
But there's a nice reunion
At the end
I'm glad to see the prerequisites
To things that exist
Why is he called sparrow
Now you know
All in all
3 out of five
It was fine

Boom: A Short Story

The explosion happened too far in the distance for me to be sure where it was. If I had been looking up, I may have caught a glimpse of orange light and fire in the sky. Blah! I could just wait until the next day to see an explosion. Although before I could complete my thought, another explosion rang out. This time, I caught the wisp of black smoke trailing into the sky.
Probably some drug dealers fighting over a parking spot. Maybe it was terrorists for whatever reason. Maybe it was just another kid who left the oven on. It didn't affect me, and it didn't affect the book that I was reading. I was deep within the fictional universe, where Megan was near telling her lover just how much he mattered. I leaned back into my park bench, anticipating the next few words.
BOOM! This explosion was close enough that I could feel the heat on my leg, but still I continued reading. Three was nothing, but a Tuesday afternoon in May. Megan leaned in close to Scott, the mailman, and she began to whisper, "If it hadn't been for you, I would have..." BOOM! Another explosion, this time it was close enough to sing the pages of my book. It still wasn't enough to worry me. As long as I could still read the book. Another boom, and I was on fire, but as long as I was able to read the book. Everything was fine as long as I could keep my nose in the book.

Time: A Poem.

Time ticks 

Sucking time 

Tick of space 

Latched to your face 

Tick tick tick 

Where is the tock? 

Look to the clock. 

What time is on the wrist

Where does the continuum twist 

Mechanism of metal gears 

Ticking to represent your fear 

Tick tick tick 

Tock tock tock 

Circle circle circle 

Run back 

Don't 

Face the front 

Do what you want 

Step forward 

Forewarned 

The moment you are born 

A breath 

Of death 

Goes into your lungs 

And yet you haven't used your thumbs. 

Poetic Movie Review of My Little Pony: The Movie

This movie isn't half bad 

As long as you remember it's for kids 

The characters are true 

To themselves and their friends 

The plot is thin 

If you can say it there 

But the concept of friendship? 

That's never bare 

There are new character galore 

And new places to explore 

The animation is a bit off putting 

Hey, you want some pudding? 

It's filled to the brim with music and references 

Just for the fans that are paying attention 

Though my theater was mostly empty 

I'm not afraid to be me 

You've got to be awesome 

And stand up for who you are 

With that in mind 

3.5 out of 5 stars

Idea for the Evil in You

Want yo make a quick billion dollars?

This idea is great. What is it? It's an establishment where you cook your own meals! Sounds silly, right?

Well, the thing is... This place is a place where you don't have to clean up after yourself, and everything is already prepped. You have the right tools present already and you just have to pay an entrance fee.

That way so.wone buys things for you and you get the space you need without having to clean up.

Easy billion dollars.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Death

Today's topic is death. People are afraid of death, but they are no afraid of heaven specifically. Even people who believe they have done hood things are afraid of death. People who don't believe in a religion are afraid too. But why?

The worst is could be is nothing? Why are people afraid of nothing. (Note the worst it could be is hell.) But people have long been afraid of nothing. People are afraid of darkness and it represents super nothing. But why?

I imagine the reason is because nothing represents an indescribable and impossible to understand idea. No one can imagine nothing, because it is nothing. That's why it is scared, because even the dead of space isn't nothing. 

Wooden Duck: A Poem

The wooden duck on the file cabinet
What the f is it
The hell is it doing there
Is it trying to fly away
Eat my face today?
That wooden duck eats chips
Turns them into wood chips
That wooden duck, who is it?
Can it remember?
Can it forget?
Who the hell built this?
Is this needed?
Where will he go?
What could he know?
That wooden duck
Sitting there
What's his thought?
On anything
Can he still sing?
Sits in the office of a hunter
Without a single feather
His is mother aware
His she a tree or a duck
Which is which?
Was he a duck cursed by a witch
Either way he's dead
Lying there with a wooden head
Wondering when he will be gone
Sitting with his tree on the lawn
He's always going to be duck
No matter what
I'll still love him
Until his end

One Single Haiku

Sometimes I forget
To write a daily blog post
So I write haikus

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Clouds

Today's topic: Clouds

Clouds? What are they? Are they actually just wisps of mist or are they something something much more sinister? Clearly the latter because... That's what this is about.

Clouds are clearly just a method for aliens... No no no. Last time it was aliens. Everything can't be about aliens. No, it's probably snake people. Snake People are hiding behind clouds. That's why snakes are shaped like rain drops.

Snakes are venomous, they are cumulus.

How to Stay Motivated

So, you're probably a writer or something. Why else would you read this blog on any kind of basis. Unless, you're actually an alien that is attempting to understand the English language. In which case, good luck.

How then, do you find the time to continue to write? Don't. Don't find time. Time is pretty straight forward unless you are moving faster than the speed of light.

More than likely you can't move faster than the speed of light. Granted maybe you can. But that would mean you're some kind of alien trying to understand English.

Regardless, you'll have to make time from scratch. You'll have to write a little bit at a time for a long period of time. Start a blog that you post to every Tuesday. Or pretend every day is Tuesday and the same thing.

Poetic TV Review: Big Mouth

Last night a binged the whole show
I'm so glad I did, you know
It guessed that I would
And I knew it was true
But damn it, Big Mouth is great
Even if your on the pillow and late
It's in netflix
Called such because it's a bet, mate
It tells the tale of hormones
And doesn't hold it's punches
It says what we thought
When looking at TaTas
The show is deeper than expected
And very well written
Every character has a lovable trait
Even if at first you hesitate
You need to watch to episode three
And after that have like 5 hours free
You'll want to consume
Maybe to your doom
The most important part
Is that it has bits of surreal heart
It keeps you on your toys
But your inner child knows
The hormone fairy
Is quite hairy
Also don't call him that
He's a monster you twhat
The voice acting is beautiful
Even if it's full of Nick Kroll
The message is clear
Puberty is something to fear
I suggest it
Despite the animation being crap
It's easy to forget.
With that all in mind
4 out of 5

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Black

Today's topic is the color black.

So black is a color that you think you can see. However the problem with that is that something that is truly black cannot be seen. Due to the fact that it does not reflect any light. Functionally, a black object is invisible.

For example, a black holes is black, because it cannot be seen and light cannot escape it. This began the question though if everything is invisible. Since light is the only method in which things can be perceived, is it possible that our ancestors were functionally blind.

Or perhaps even worse, the implication is that nothing but light exists.

I don't know. I'm not a real doctor. Think about it.

Friendship

Friendship doesn't mean never hurt
But stand by me
By the bay
Wait for the guards to take me away
It doesn't mean never scold
But to do it, until I get old
It doesn't mean to die for me
But rather make it worth living
It doesn't mean this or that
Or never getting fat
It means you've always got my back
It means you'll be here
Waiting for me to get home
It means wearing special jewelry
And being in love
If you haven't noticed
You probably won't
But I love you more
Than writing itself.
Tell no one
Not a thing
But seeing you makes my heart sing
Happy 6th day of Gracemas
I love you so much

Stealy Tips #1

Want to steal something? Yes?
Well, I'm no lawyer, but guess what, meh don't do mean things or whatever.
Back to stealy things?
Steal a bunch of things to cover everything you wanted. Who will know what you wanted?
Steal the coasters. Steal the TV. Steal the forks. Steal the curtains.
Who will know what you actually wanted?
Nobody.
This isn't legal advice, so keep that in mind.

Top 10 Ways You Make Instant Enemies of Cashier.

 1. Saying, "This has no tag, so it must be free. Hurry de dur dur." Is going to make you quick enemies with a cashier. Mostly because people say it like it is there own original joke that hey just came up with.

2. "Are there anymore in the back?"
No! No! There's barely anything in the back. It isnt a magical place where Scott can get the last of the peanut butter Oreos. It isn't Noah's ark for pizza bagles.

3. Don't bring 500 items that you took 209 years to shop for, and expect me to have them checked and bagged in 10 seconds. I can only move so fast. Sorry your spleen doctor can wait.

4. "You guys really need to get X in here." Sorry, but cashiers aren't making purchasing decisions. Stop asking.

5. "All these card reader things are different." Well, of course they aren't. They only go one of two ways. Slid or chip.

6. Leave your stuff by the register and I will have your head.

7. Stop making me my manager for things you want to go over my for.

8. "I have money. Look at my bank account." This is two fold. I don't care about how much your money and it isn't my fault your card is crappy.

9. STOP TALKING ON THE PHONE!

10. Being the customer doesn't make you immune from common human decency.

Another Thought.

To say I understand all
That would be a farce
I just want to rest
Lay in bed
Instead of lying about sleep
I'd love to count sheep
Be the first to heat the sheets
The runner to dreams
My job comes first
That's the worst
Because without money
I'm dead and broke
Without this money
I'll have no food
With Which to choke
I need the fuel
To pay for school
That paid for college
Garnish knowledge
For what?
What for?
So I could walk out the door?
A little more broke
Or did I do it for dreams
Ones that I can't seem
To have in day
Or in sleep
One day I might
Maybe instead I'll die

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Hate

Today's topic is hatred! 

Notice how one drop of hatred can ruin all the nice things you've ever done? Notice how other people claim that hatred is toxic? Notice how people say you shouldn't be so hateful? 

Clearly this must mean that we are beings of pure hate and hatred is the one true energy source and being nice is stupid. 

Live your life full of mind killing energy. Or something. 

Mouse Trap: An Invention

Want to make a billion dollars?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Who doesn't right?

Well, you know how a computer mouse controls a computer? Yeah. Know how a universal remote controls universally all TV's?

Well, what about a computer mouth that is also a remote control of the TV. That way you could just scroll to the next TV show.

Is it a bad idea? Oh, probably. For sure, maybe.

Will it make money? Yes.