Poetic Movie Review of Office Christmas Party

Oh, this movie was great
Just let me explain
It had a reference to Fast and Furious
Even if the moved was coked out and delirious
Throw subtlety out the window
Who cares what the audience knows
A boring movie
With a need for overarching plot
Like it was written by a blind robot
The characters are flat until the end
Barely let's the attitude bend
Like the hangover meets a circus
Without any of the fancy circuits.it is booked with stupid
Like a barrel with a foam lid
It might as well be nothing
Given that it isnt something
It is boring
Boring boring
And a wasted cast
An idea that could never last
All in all
Half a star out of five

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Lies

Today's topic is noodles.

See that is a lie and not one I get any gain from. Lying is functionally a human characteristic. Lying isn't done by creatures in the wild as a lying is a language. It is possible for creatures of any kind to guise the truth or veil an aspect of reality, but it is not the same as lying. Because lying can be done without reason.

Why can we lie? Why can we weave ideas different than what we know? In a biblical sense we were created specifically from the lies of Satan, but that seems a little too easy. Perhaps lying is a method of survival. If everything comes down to the idea of survival, it would make sense that people would learn to lie to gain the upper hand on their competition.

Because human beings do not have predators typically. But we do have people that we can compete against for resources. But you know that is just a theory or whatnot.

Common Cents

                                            4/24/17

Common Cents

A.M. Hounchell

2120 SW Potomac Dr. #8

Topeka, Ks 66611

785-250-4533

2017 (c)

Characters:

Chuck, 30 something, dirty dude

Amy, 6 year old

Brandon, 14 year old

Ethel, 89 years old

Setting: An arcade at a movie theater. In front of a Ms. Pac-Man Machine. Ms. Pac-Man is a yellow and black arcade machine that features a titular pie shaped creature eating power pellets and avoiding ghosts. Present.

Scene 1:

(LIGHTS COME UP ON ETHEL, WALKING WITH AN OXYGEN TANK. CHUCK IS PLAYING THE MS. PACMAN MACHINE)

ETHEL

Took me half my breath to convince the home to drop me here instead of Big Lots and Brandon isn’t even here. I'm stuck here. I hate being old. I can’t walk good. I can’t breathe. And there’s no movies for me.

        (WISHFUL GLANCE TOWARDS THE MS. PAC-MAN MACHINE)

CHUCK

But Ethel being older doesn’t make you lesser. You have many memories of the past, and your memories have lots of value to the people around you.

ETHEL

If it isn’t Chuck. What, have you been waiting for me or something?

CHUCK

I wasn’t going to let my friend feel unwanted.

ETHEL

We aren’t friends. You’re just some guy who bothers everyone who comes in here.

CHUCK

That isn’t very nice.

ETHEL

Fine, I’ll play your game. At least it’ll give me something to do. What were you saying?

CHUCK

Your memories have value to the people around you.

ETHEL

Yes, that's right. (Pause)  What do you know about the people around me? I can't have value if people never see me. Even now, I’m starting to think you’re the only person who can see me.

CHUCK

That's a good point, but your opinions have value to me. Otherwise, why would I choose to talk to you? Why are we friends?

ETHEL

We aren’t friends. What’s so great about being old? You don’t have any friends or family, what could you know about people not wanting to see you? People are avoiding me, because they are afraid that the slightest touch will kill me.

CHUCK

You know so much and you can give that knowledge to others, so they can live life to the fullest.

ETHEL

After all these years, and you still don’t get people. I’m old, not stupid.

CHUCK

But, you don’t smell like a teenager anymore.

ETHEL

I stopped smelling like a teenager when I turned twenty. Now I smell like dust and wet socks.

CHUCK

Well, you can reach the controls of a Ms. Pac-Man machine.

ETHEL

I’ve been able to do that since the damn things came out.

CHUCK

You’ve experienced so much, it makes your remaining experiences richer and fuller. Even after you die, everyone will be better off. I’ll certainly be better off when you are dead.

ETHEL

(ETHEL STARES AT CHUCK)

How long have you been waiting for me? What do you want? Are you trying to take my soul? Are you trying to kill me?

CHUCK

No. No. No. You’re in no danger. If I wanted to take your soul with me, I’d have done it by now. I am here to tell you to live life to the fullest, not hurt you. No one should hurt you. People should help repair you.

ETHEL (CALM)

I may be plugged into this oxygen tank, but I’m not a machine. You can’t just unplug me and plug me back in. I’m not an arcade machine.

CHUCK

No one said you were. I meant it more in a figurative sense though.

ETHEL

So, I should be figuratively unplugged? Why can't you just leave me alone? I don’t understand what you want? Who are you? What do you want from me?

CHUCK

Are you okay, Ethel? I'm (pause) just trying it help. With the right amount of love and care, even people can be healed. I could even come visit you, if you wanted (PAUSE) or whatever. I know you are probably lonely at that horable place.

ETHEL

Is that you, Brandon? I haven’t seen you in so long. I thought you were here to take me away. Can we get ice cream together like when you were a boy? Remember when we used to play Ms. Pac-Man and eat ice cream? The home doesn't even have ice cream.

CHUCK (FROWNING)

I… I… missed you too. Maybe next time I come to see you, I can bring you ice cream.

ETHEL

I haven’t seen you for so long. When do you think you’ll visit me again? You are a good boy.

CHUCK

Yeah, you taught me that. Do you have two quarters? We can play Ms. Pac-Man together for old time’s sake. Then we can get ice cream like you and Brandon used to.

ETHEL (LOOKING AROUND)

You aren’t Brandon. I don’t know who you are. How did I get here? Are you here to take me back home? I want to go home. When did I get here?

CHUCK

Snap out of it Ethel. They just dropped you off.

ETHEL

Who? Who are they?

            (ETHEL NOW FOCUSING)

Do you know my grandson?

CHUCK

No, but you can introduce me to him. He seems like a nice boy.

ETHEL

He’s my best friend. We play this game all the time.

CHUCK

Well, we can play the game until he gets here, I’m sure that it won’t be long. He’s probably on his way.

(ETHEL  REACHES INTO HER POCKETBOOK AND GRABS TWO QUARTERS)

ETHEL

Why don’t we play the game together for old time’s sake?

(ETHEL TAKES A STEP FORWARD AND HER BREATHING SLOWS AND SHE BEGINS FALLING TO THE FLOOR)

CHUCK

Why don’t we sit down instead? We can play the machine in a minute. In the game of life, there’s always (PAUSE) time to take a breather.

ETHEL

I love you. Take the quarters, okay? You can’t start the game and I’ll be over there in a minute.

(CHUCK SMILES, BUT ETHEL CONTINUES SINKING TO THE GROUND UNTIL SHE IS COMPLETELY MOTIONLESS)

CHUCK

I love you too. (PAUSE) Ma'am? Hello? (SHOUTING) I don’t know what to do. Someone help.

       

(CHUCK CLUTCHES THE TWO QUARTERS BETWEEN HIS FINGERS AND FADE TO BLACK)

       

Scene 2:

Same arcade.

Same machine.

Later the same day

(LIGHTS COME UP ON AMY. TOO SHORT TO REACH THE CONTROLS OF THE MACHINE)

AMY

Why can’t I reach this? Why is she called Ms. Pac-Man? Can’t she just be called Pac-Lady? Or Pac-Woman? Pac-Girl? Why does she wear a bow?

(CHUCK SLIPS OUT FROM BEYOND THE ARCADE MACHINE, CARRYING A STEP STOOL)

CHUCK

Fret not. Soon you will be tall enough to continue. But being short is nothing to scoff at. It has so many advantageous.

AMY

I hate it. We come in here like everyday and I never get to play. Mom says we have to be early, but I never get to play the machine. I just want to play. Look how pretty she is on the machine. I hate being short! I hate everything.

CHUCK

Hatred is easy to feel, but one as young as yourself should not feel it. As for your earlier assessment of why she cannot just be Pac-Lady, isn’t it nice to know that more people prefer Ms. Pac-Man?

AMY

I don’t know what an assessment is.

CHUCK

It means she’s strong, but she never has to say it. She’s tough, just like you, Jessica.

AMY

My name isn’t Jessica. It’s Amy. You don’t have to talk down to me. I’m older than you.

CHUCK

Everyone is a Jessica in the eyes of the arcade. (UNDER BREATH) Damn.

(CHUCK SETS THE STEP STOOL IN FRONT OF THE MACHINE)

                   CHUCK (Continued)

When you are ready, you can step up and play the machine.

AMY

My mom says cursing is bad. She also says never to trust strangers.

CHUCK

Everyone's a stranger at some point. I’m trying to help you. We can even be friends, if you’d like. That way we aren’t strangers.

AMY

Why are you helping me? No one helps me!

CHUCK

That can’t be true. Someone cared to bring you here. Someone bought the clothes you are wearing. Didn’t they?

AMY

Yeah. I guess, but I still never get to play the game. I want to run from the theater ghost!

CHUCK

You mean the ghosts in the game?

AMY

No. The ghost. Like a real ghost.

CHUCK

They aren’t haunting the arcade. They're in a better place. Everyone gets to be in a better place eventually.

AMY

I’m not in better place. This isn’t fair!

CHUCK

In the arcade, everyone is equal. Once you have a quarter, your life has meaning to the arcade. If you wish to play Ms. Pac-Man, then you matter.

AMY

Okay? Do you have a quarter? I want to play the machine, because I matter.

(CHUCK HANDS ONE OF THE QUARTERS TO AMY AND CHUCK WAITS FOR A RESPONSE)

CHUCK

It’s no problem. I live to help those seeking refuge from the storm inside. Even if it means being lost in a maze for a moment or two.

AMY

It’s sunny outside, okay. Be quiet. I’m winning the game.

CHUCK

It isn’t possible to win Ms. Pac-Man. Since it is a maze game, you can only play it. No matter what, you’ll end up losing.

AMY

I get it, you know big words. Stop being a weirdo, now please.

CHUCK

That isn’t very nice.

AMY

I don’t know you, so I don't need to be nice.

CHUCK

You should show appreciation to those who do nice things for you. Otherwise you may never have the joy of being a good person.

AMY

I appreciate it. Bye now!

CHUCK

Don’t you feel bad? Can’t you try to be thankful.

AMY

I’m busy.

(CHUCK GLANCES DOWN AND DISAPPEARS BACK BEHIND THE MACHINE. CUT TO BLACK)

Scene 3:

Later in the week

Same arcade

Same machine

(LIGHTS COME UP ON BRANDON PLAYING MS. PAC-MAN)

BRANDON

Seriously? I can only get to the point where they meet. I just want to see their stupid kid! God! I hate this stupid place. I hate everything. Nothing in this stupid arcade every changes! I bet this is the same shit from when they first opend.

(BRANDON PUNCHES THE MACHINE AND CHUCK STEPS FROM BEHIND THE ARCADE MACHINE WITH A QUARTER CLUTCHED BETWEEN HIS FINGERS)

CHUCK

I’ve been watching you, kid.

BRANDON

That’s hardly creepy at all. It wouldn’t be hard to watch me, I’m here all the time. Just sucking at Ms. Pac-Man and eating free popcorn.

CHUCK

I understand. I know you’re a young'un, but you gotta remember that you can’t rush love. You aren’t going to be coming to this theater all on your own for very long.

BRANDON

I’m always here alone, since after.

CHUCK

When you are in the arcade, you are never really alone. You surrounded by the memories, hopes, and aspirations of everyone who's ever been inside.

BRANDON

Are you high? You can be honest.

CHUCK

I just want you to live life to the fullest and enjoy moments as they happen.

BRANDON

The moments where a stranger talks to me? My mom already dropped me off here on my lonesome. Do you think it makes me happy that I have to pass time by playing a thirty year old game? Don’t you think I want an XBox?

CHUCK

My point is, just enjoy playing the game. Life’s a game and you can’t play it to win. Unfortunately, even in life you can never know when things will change for better or worse. You can’t outrun your ghosts, you can only slow them down.

BRANDON

Like the ghost of my grandmother, who died right there? Do you think that’s funny?

CHUCK

No. It isn’t funny. (CHUCKLES)

BRANDON

We used to play this stupid game, and now she’s gone forever. I should have visited her more, but instead I stayed away because I hated seeing her die. Now, Ms. Pac-Man gets to keep me company.

CHUCK

I’m sorry. I was just trying to make you feel better.

BRANDON

Well, you failed. (PAUSE) Why can’t you just leave me alone, you creep? I’m calling the police.

CHUCK

Brandon. Brandon. Brandon.

BRANDON

How the hell do you know my name?

CHUCK

How does anyone know anyone’s name, Brandon? I guessed it randomly and hoped it was right. I know life is scary. Things seem crappy sometimes. I know that your home life is…

BRANDON

Don’t talk about my parents. You don’t know anything about them.

CHUCK

Calm down. I’m just trying to help.

BRANDON

You don’t know anything about me. You don’t know what it feels like to slowly become part of this arcade.

CHUCK

Uh-huh.

BRANDON

You don’t know what it feels like to be more of a ghost than someone you’ve already lost. Do you have a catchy saying for that? Do you have a magical solution?

CHUCK

No… but I know that was your last quarter. It was your last chance to get things right.

BRANDON

Thanks for reminding me.

(BRANDON PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN AND CHUCK PLACES THE LAST QUARTER ONTO THE MACHINE)

CHUCK

Good luck. Sorry I ruined everything.

       

(CHUCK STARTS TO VANISH BEHIND THE MACHINE AGAIN. BRANDON LIFTS HIS HEAD TO LOOK AT THE QUARTER)

BRANDON

Are you good at this?

CHUCK

I spend most of my time here like you. I'd like to think I know this machine better than anyone.

BRANDON

Want to help me?

CHUCK

Are you sure? You might not make it further.

BRANDON

I sure as hell won't make it further without you. You gave me another chance, the least I can do is make it count.

CHUCK

Are you sure it won’t hurt you more?

BRANDON

I think it’s what my grandma would have wanted.

    (CHUCK STANDS BEHIND BRANDON AS HE PLAYS A NEW GAME, BOTH HAPPY AND A SLOW FADE TO BLACK)

Final Moment: Poem

A final moment
There's one every second
There's a first
And then a thirst
As something comes to a clothes
In a moment
Gone in a second
Everything has a moment
A last a bite
A last sight
Mine comes closer
Closer and closer as I walk
Like a slight rolling Rock
I can not disagree
As I take in one hand
Another hand and my degree
This is the final moment, see?
A piece of paper
And I'll see you later
I know not where I'll go
But time will surely show
When will be done
Sorry, gotta run

Coaster

This is easy. Easy easy. And remember, I am not a lawyer, at least last time I checked.

This is what you are going to do, you are going attach two piece of test fabric together to create a square piece of fabric and then cut that into a circle.

Sell these coasters for any amount of money and then use that money to buy slightly better supplies and then sell those coasters for more money.

You go yourself a money train you can just coast on. And yes, everything here was created to make that pun. I'm sorry, but am I really?

No. No I am not.

The Top 10 Top 10 Lists

1. The Top 10 misheard Backstreet Boys Songs

The Late Show had a top 10 list every night and this was by far the best one.

2. The Top 10 Candy Through Time

This was a top 10 list from Buzz Feed and it had black licorice in it, so it was the perfect list.

3. The Top 10 restaurants in Kansas

Very large area, but what a great list. I saw this one on the Travel Channel

4. The Top 10 Ben 10 Episodes

I just really like Ben 10. Not going to lie.

5. Any Top 10 Movie List Ever

I just like how people try to boil down their favorites to 10 things.

6. The Top 10 Colors

this one is written on this website. I likes writing it, so it is here.

7. The Top 10 reasons Aliens Exist

This one is by Hybrid Librarian on YouTube.  YouTube is great.

8. Top 10 Smells

Don't know who wrote this, maybe me in the future.

9. Top 10 Ways to Methods of Transport

I saw this on a voucher in Branson, or at least I did for this explanation.

10. The Top 10 ways that Countries say 10

I like this idea.

Writing Excercise: a lemon twist back

This is a simple writing Excercise. Pick a monkey in the day. Don't worry, I'll wait for you.

Now, write that moment if you had chosen to do something different.

Change that moment, and see how it changes everything in the day, or if it doesn't. Go rationalize.

Another crime

This is 100% a crime, so you know keep that in mind.

Education should be free. As a culture why would we charge people to learn ideas that they could use to better us as whole. (The answer is capitalism)

So you know what you should do (don't really, it is a crime) buy some super expensive text books and photocopy them and sell them for a cool dolla. You definitely will not make any money, but that isn't the important thing in this instance.

Although, as usual, I'm not a layer, so don't always listen to me

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Planning

Today's topic is planning.

Planning is stupid, and I'll back that up.

Planning is the idea of sticking it an ideal without change in case of other opportunity. Because of this I never plan, but at the same time I'm not good at plans. Instead I like to be adaptable. I like to change to the situation and keep my options open.

Planning is picking a job before your graduate, so you are well off.  I'm graduating in about a month, and I tell people I have no idea what I want to do.

That isn't true of course, I have a realtively good idea what I want to do. Or at the very least, a loose version of the idea. But by locking down on one thing, I lose my entire focus on what could have been.

You know though, this is just a theory.

The Rain: Poem

I will always be like the rain
A feeling that I can hardly explain.
I'm haphazard
Oh so scattered
I'm both happy and sad
I can feel cool and bad
I'm refreshing and reviving
Yet I'm not revealing
I'm unsure of my course
Whether to fall towards a tree or a Porsche
I'm an action and a thing
Half of the dancing
But also singing in the rain
Collected both in body and soul
If something happens I roll
I stick around
A chitter of sound
Eventually even when lost I find my way
Only in this way, am I like the rain
Someday I'll see the ocean
But that is something I can't explain.

Poetic Review of Fate of the Furious

I can only imagine the pitch
"Let's do this different.
Let's make Dom bad
Make the rock sad
Ad something extra
Maybe a dash of Statham"
From there they wrote
About a family torn trope
Nothing is unexpected
It ends 100% as expected
Cars, trucks and tanks
The action scenes got me saying thanks
Though not clever or well written
It isn't worth giving every sin
It knows what is is
Stays true to that core
If I could give it five stars I would, but I'll give it four

More from my Acting Class

In this class, we did an activity or game as it were that included singing all of our lines of dialouge.  Right before this Penny had been explaining how fear is important for actors. While I was singing, I thought about that idea. I was willing to go a little further in my lines and sing a little louder for the class. I can't sing so I had to rely on my lyrics. Trust my instincts.

What I learned by the end of classis that almost no one in my class can sing, except maybe Taylor, so that is interesting. By the end, I had also realized that as a group, signing loosened our inhibitions.

Original Sentences About Soup

1. Soup is the answer to all questions, as long you never explicitly wanted the correct answer.

2. I thought that I'd never be able to defeat my inner demons, but I defeated them with a healthy bowl of tomato soup.

3. To know something is to choose to drink your soup with a straw, instead of hitting with an orange.

4. In an anti gravity situation people say, "Waiter, my soup is flying."

5. Liquid, broth, the spirits of several chickens, theses are the ingidients for the perfect bowl of soup but Master Chef added an extra ingidient: salt.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Being Dissociative

Today's topic is being dissociative.

Everyone is always harping on being happy. Why can't you feel happy? Why do you let things eat you up? Why can't you just let go?

My thoughts on this have always been clear. A bit of it has to do with justice. I feel like I have a strong sense of inner-justice. A kind of sense that sometimes works against me instead of for me.

Some of it, I believe has to do with it being hard for me to feel cohesive. Sometimes my emotions and my feelings are volatile to the point that even I have to fight myself. It means though that once in awhile I can pull back.

If I think about it, I know that other people have problems that they take out on me accidentally, so I know that people think their issues matter. It's this feeling that causes me to want to help. It causes me to care about others, and it is the driving force of my empathy.

I can hardly understand myself and I feel as though I struggle with that constantly, but it helps me understand everyone else.

Warning LONGER POST: Blind and Death

Blind and Death

A.M. Hounchell

2017 ©

Characters:

Ralph, young guy

Martin, Ralph’s close friend

Sheila, funeral director

Sam

Scene 1:

Setting: A room with two chairs. Present.

(Ralph and Martin are sitting in chairs as lights come up. Martin is reading a book.)

Ralph: I’m lost.

Martin: And?

Ralph: I don’t know what to do with myself.

Martin: And?

Ralph: I feel purposeless.

Martin: And you feel for some reason I can give you purpose? You think that I have my shit more together than you? Maybe you should look again. I’m a shit hurricane.

(Ralph stares into the distance)

Ralph: I wish I could be turned off like a robot. I don’t want to kill myself. I just want to be away. I want to enjoy restful sleep and the empty nothing. I don’t want to be, but I want to come back. I need hibernation.

(Martin sits his book down)

Martin: That’s copping out of killing yourself.

Ralph: I don’t think so. I just don’t want to have to deal with all of this. I want to be able to… pretend I have emotions again.

(Martin faces Ralph)

Martin: That’s stupid. Just look at yourself. You aren’t old. You aren’t frail. You aren’t dying. You have both of your legs for Christ’s sake. Just grow up.

Ralph: I know, but I just don’t think I can do it.

Martin: Kill yourself to death or care about living?

Ralph: Either. I feel so weak. I feel like at any moment I’ll melt into the floor. I feel like nothing. I’ve felt this way since graduation.

(Martin picks up his book)

Martin: You are being a coward. Shut up.

Ralph: You’re being heartless!

(Martin throws the book across the stage)

Martin: I am not being heartless. Look at what time it is. I’ve sat here and listened to you whine about killing yourself for five hours. Five goddamn hours. Do you think it’s easy listening to my best friend talk about killing himself? Do you think there’s some kind of magic protocol to deal with this? Did it ever cross your mind that I don’t know what to say? You’re a moron.

You can live and do so many great things, and you want to waste that opportunity to destroy yourself. You know what? I hope you kill yourself. Go ahead and try. I dare you. You just want to have a woe-is-me-moment and it’ll pass. Like mine always do. I’m sick of listening to this. Go ahead and slit your wrist and jump off a bridge, because clearly I can’t talk you out of this. What you need is a professional to talk you down from that childish cliff face that you are lost on.

(beat)

Ralph: You’re right. It was selfish of me to bring this up to you. I’ll see you around, Martin. I hope that book ends nicely.

(Ralph stands and begins to exit the stage. Silence.)

Martin: Please come back.

(Ralph leaves stage and Martin sits by himself)

Martin: Please come back

(Silence)

Martin: Please! I’m sorry. Don’t leave.

(Silence, followed by Ralph shouting offstage)

Ralph: I can’t do this anymore!

Scene 2:

(Lights come up on Ralph and Martin. They are sitting opposite each other again. Time has passed.)

Martin: This book is harder than I thought to read. The character just seems like he is going through the motions. It feels like his emotions left him a long time ago.

(Ralph looks up)

Ralph: So?

Martin: It is just a hard book to read. I don’t really care about the character. He is just an emotionless brick, who could be tossed off of a balcony for all I care.

Ralph: Why don’t you tell me how you actually feel?

(Martin stares at the book)

Martin: No one in the story cares about him, and I don’t know why I should care about him.

Ralph: Have you considered that it isn’t a good book?

Martin: No. I thought maybe there’d be a silver lining, but the character’s life just continues to get shittier and shittier. Even though, he continues to be a brick.

Ralph: Just read a different book. Seems like it would be easy. Step one, find a different book. Step two, read that book instead.

Martin (still not looking up): I’m just invested in how it’ll end. I’m hoping that something beautiful happens. I’m hoping that there will be a little light that makes him feel less like a brick.

Ralph: Why read a book if you don’t like it?

Martin: Life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, you know?

Ralph: But if you change your perspective anything can be happy.

Martin: That’s cute coming from you of all people.

Ralph: What was that?

Martin: Nothing. I was just sighing. You are probably right. There’s no reason that I can’t just

throw this book aside and read a different book. I could read anything.

Ralph: Got any idea what you will read next?

(Martin lightly sets the book down)

Martin: I was thinking about reading Of Mice and Men. At least I know how that ends already.

Ralph: Oh that sounds interesting. I’ve never read that.

Martin: It’s very good. It’s about two best friends, who hang out until one has to leave town. It’s probably my favorite book actually, even though it is a little sad at the end.

Ralph: I was hoping that it would be about a mouse and a guy becoming best friends or something.

Martin: You’re thinking of the movie Ratatouille, which is neither a book or about a mouse. It’s a pleasant movie though to be fair.

(Martin stands up)

Martin (continued): You know, I’ll be right back. I’m going to grab my book from the study.

(Martin exits and Ralph continues sitting)

Ralph: You forgot your book in here!

(Silence)

Ralph: Martin, the other book is in here!

(Silence)

Ralph: MARTIN!

(Fade to black)

Scene 3:

Funeral parlor. Not many people. Two chairs. Present.

(Lights come up on Sheila and Martin sitting in the chairs)

Ralph: I never thought this was going to happen.

Sheila (remaining calm): No one plans for others to die. It is just God’s will. Your friend is in a better place. You cannot grieve those in a better place, because you are worse off than them. They are without worry for eternity.

Ralph: I never wanted this to happen. I’m going to hell for what I did. I should have known. Why didn’t I know?

Sheila: Sweetheart, no one wants their friends to die. Otherwise why would you be friends with them. If you wanted your friends to die, they’d be your enemies. People don’t attend the funerals of their enemies unless they are their friends.

Ralph: I don’t want this to happen. I just want to talk about the stupid book.

(Ralph looks above him. Distant look)

Sheila: You cannot change the past. That is the beauty of mistakes. They can never be rewritten. Our choices lead us down the path that creates who we are.

Ralph: I could have asked more questions. I could have taken more interest in his goddamn book. If I had just listened to him for a second.

Sheila: Do you think anymore of his family will make it?

Ralph: I see his blood in the snow and his broken legs when I close my eyes. It’s always there, no matter what I do. It’s bright like the sun looking back at me. His twitching fingers grasping for nothing.

(Sheila pats Ralph on the leg)

Sheila: Try not to think too much about that. It wasn’t your fault, and it’ll never be your fault. You cannot predict the actions of others. You can only predict the actions of yourself.

Ralph: He was reacting to me. It’s my fault. I could have easily predicted what would happen and taken action.

Sheila: And the weather? Was that also your fault?

Ralph: I was cold to him.

Sheila: You can’t blame yourself for everything that happens. Some things will always be out of your control. Other people’s lives are out of your control. The future is out of your control.

Take care. I hope you make it home safely after the service.

(Ralph continues sitting by himself, holding the book)

Ralph: I don’t know what the protocol for a funeral is. Am I supposed to walk up there? Talk to your body like you could still get up? Am I supposed to cry? Be angry? What’s the answer? Am I supposed to apologize for making everything about me?

(Ralph placed his hand over his face)

Ralph: I found your book. You dropped it on the way out. I don’t want to ruin the ending for you, in case you want to finish it. I don’t think the character was like a brick at all. It actually has a nice ending, believe it or not.

(Ralph places book on chair and stands)

Ralph: I’ll miss you.    (Ralph exits and stage to black)

The Mayo of Burgah Tahown Reboot Remix Redux

I am thee Mayo of Burgah Tahown
Step in my office if you please
Care to ketchup? With an old pale
I may be a moldy onion
But you only think that cause your a funion
You mustaherd
That I plan to give up the goat
In a couple days, I'm not this towns mayo
No, I'll be off singing carrot oakey
With my sage friend Parsely
I've done all that I can
Turned this place from a five to a tin
Helped garlic buy new kicks
Watched he hotdogs in the park
I was everything I should've bean
And a little bit more lean and green
But this Mayo's got places to go
Places to bee
I hope you understand kid
I'm leaving everything in your chicken fingers
All the smiles that still lined
I'm not longer the Mayo of this Tahown
But that doesn't mean that you should frown

A Contemplation of Omnipotence

If someone or something is omnipotent, does that mean they know everything? No
 But it does mean they can will themselves to know everything. In fact, technically they are everything. So, could an omnipotent being be killed?
Yes. Only if it were the being's decision. The being could only be destroied if it willed it.
So, the only way to kill an omnipotent being is to convince it to die. Probably means that it can't be done. But who knows.

This has been, a thing on my mind.