The Exact Writing Exercise for You in 7 Steps.

Step One: Pick Up a book

Step Two: Put said book down

Step Three: Pick said book back up

Step Four: Turn said book to page 48

Step Five: Read the last sentence.

Step Six: Using this as a prompt, write a story.

Step Seven: Become Mildly successful. 

It is easy as long as you follow the steps exactly. 

5 Original Sentence: With Arrows

1. Design an arrow made of cheese, shoot my sandwich from a distance, please.

2. If the sun were the moon, and the moon were the sun, I'd be having more fun, after the strike of one.

3. The hot air balloon goblins, knew that they could switch the sun with the moon, but as long as no human was awake, there would be no proof in the sky, but  tiny arrow, captioned goodbye.

4. Once the the hot hair balloons, with faces of cats who needed to sneeze, invaded over Cleveland, those people thought they could shoot it down, not with a cannon, but with a bow and arrow.

5. One brave hero, name Cream Cheese Arrow, got into his banana time bubble of stuff, and he decided with a cheddar arrow, that enough was enough.  

Poetic Movie Review of Toy Story 2

It is a garage sale
Wheezy thrown away like browning kale
The voice acting is above par
Other golfing puns, with a cast of stars
The plot borrows from Star Wars
As the toys make their trek
Hoping Andy won't forget
A dual plot with two villains
Who share similar dreams, its thrillin'
Hardly as good as the first
But you should see it without being coerced
The animation is Pixar, story Disney
So, to your eyes and brain, it'll be friendly
It sets up some history
Offers some of Woody's back story
It truly shines in the soundtrack
You'll be humming the tune from Woody's show from way back
Gravity and sentience be damned
4/5, would see again

Prime Time for Crime: Samples

Let's talk samples and let's talk crime.

Obviously, crime is wrong, but let's take a look instead at possible cheats to get away with pretty petty things.

For example, Carpet samples. Everyone always thinks that it would be a good idea to use these as some sort of very strange checkered floor, but how bout instead f that dumb idea, you could use them as coasters. They wouldn't scratch the table, and they would be free and unique. Not cut them into circles and put them onto a rubber madding. You know what you have? A business where you can sell what you go for free for $5 a pop on etsy. You are welcome.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Everything: Drive Through

The concept of a drive-thru doesn't make sense to me. Really it is more of a drive up, or a stop and grab.

Imagine it, the McDonald's Stop n' Grab. Regardless, for the most part, I feel like I sit in my car longer than I would if I had been standing in line.

That raises the question though of whether a drive-thru exists as a time convenience or as a sitting convenience.

If it is indeed a time issue, a place like McDonald's could easily get away with a hyper line. Some sort of system where you hand over an exact amount of money and take prebagged items like big macs and fries or nuggets. It makes 100% more sense to me.

If it has to do with wanting to continue to sit, I won't stand for that.

Yes, this entire blog was made around that joke. You are welcome.

Five Original Sentences about Grapes

1. A grape could not explain how a person could like milk, mostly because they cannot speak, but also because they have no brain.

2. When a grape decides he wants to be in a vine, he goes to vine and he uploads a 7 second pitch about why.

3. If I were a grape, I'd probably not have a blog, because that would be strange.

4. In the great mushroom war, they used grapes as cannon balls and they called 

 them grape shot.                                          .

5. A grape does not hate, because that it not the

way of the grape.                                             .

Poetic movie review of Speed

In a rush
On a bus
A mad bomber thinks it to be just
Keep driving or bust
This movie predates saw
And breaks Newton's second Law
This isn't a thinking movie
This is just an absurd reality
The cool thing is that the action is in one space
A gasoline vs time kind of race
It is one of a kind
Kind of silly, if you don't mind
The plot is bad to strange
With a villain who is deranged
But the story progresses quick
The bus rushes off lickity split
It also spawned a dumb sequel
A cruise ship that can't stop, equal
They blew up a real plane
I don't know why, let the director explain
This bus will go far
But unfortunately it gets 1.5 stars