A Deal with the DEvil AA

Given that my new book contractual obligations is going to come out soon, I decided to write a AA.

The deal that was on the table was enticing. But of course it was, because she was the Devil. not a Devil or a lesser demon, but the real deal. Heck from where you were standing she looked like she could be trusted, but of course she couldn't be, because she was the Devil. Of course, was it really different than the job you already had? Certainly, your job was already killing you and draining you of your life force, so what would the difference really be?
"I'm going to have to politely reject your offer," You said. The Devil bobbed her head, mulling over exactly what you said. After 6 or 7 bobs, she stopped smiled at you and yanked her face off of her body. Below her face was yet another face, smiling with pearly white exposed.
"It was a test," she said.
"What?"
"A test. Once every thousand years we run a test to see if people already in Hell, qualify to leave. As it turns out, when tortured, some people can become better. I need not tell you about the human conditioning though, seeing how you are one. A human, not a condition." The woman continued pulling her Devilish disguise away from her body, revealing nicer softer featured that seemed to glow in the light.
"You're saying this already was Hell?"
"But of course. Why would God condemn you to such a horrible existence? Tis but the Devil's doing."She flipped the contract over and the paper shifted until it was bright white with brilliant gold letters. It was a different contract, one from God.
"What would have happened if I had taken the offer?" You said, trying to not to swallow your tongue. Everyone else in the store faded away, disappearing to their original existence.
"Things would have gotten a lot worse. You would have went on a brilliant adventure until your mind unraveled, and you started over. After things got as bad as they could." She offered you a pen that was pleasantly warm when you grabbed ahold of it.
"Thank... thank you," You stammered out.
"No need, this is your reward." You touched the pen to the paper and signed. A brilliant white light shot through the ceiling of your job and pulled you away. Surely, you were now on your way to Heaven.