Motivational Post

Never give up.

I know that sounds easy and you never know what might come of giving up but don't do it. Instead, keep all of your dreams on a back burner. Play towards their hand, and if there is a day that it could be used, then play it.

Because giving up on anything that you might be good at is like boarding up a took in your house, because it is too cold. Or some other trivial thing. What have you.

Instead, I suggest shutting that metaphorical door and also the real door like, if you are having that problem. Because someday, and opportunity my arise where having a drive for something you love will be important. Wait for that day.

That One Guy: Poem

The more I think
The more I wonder
Why am I so angry
Why am I so mad
I see other people happy
I see other people sad
Yet I latch onto one
I hate your hate
I hate your soul
But then I look back
At what happened just then
Way back when
I see myself smile
In a tiny frame
I watch and watch
The feeling becoming clear
Until in just a moment
I realize I'm looking in a mirror
It was always there
Waiting
That smile
And that wonder
I no longer have any fear.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Music

Today's topic is music.

Music is like food for your ears.

Actually, I kind of wonder what would happen if you never heard anything. Would you still be able to hear after?

Is that why people don't like certain sounds? Like an allergic reaction to sound. That is why people pay to year good sounds like a fancy restaurant.

Realizing very quickly that this isn't a theory. Haha.

Pre-Poetic Movie Review of Transformers 5?

I wish I want to see this
But it comes with a risk
Giving money to something I'll hate
Something I can never appreciate
Fire explosions and over the top
100% not the cream of the crop
Bad acting
Out of touch autobots
Plot as thin as a toddlers thoughts
Added glimpses of things that could have been
And things that should've been
Terrible puns
And loads of anti-fun
Perhaps a good fight
Cut by a hamster without sight
Three seconds, two seconds
play it again
it isn't easier to understand
Megatron, but not really
Optimus, but I bet not really
A character from before
Bits of lore
mostly a bore
But I could be wrong
If I am I'll sing a song
Like I'm a barbie girl
With this is in mind
zero out of 5

Sleep: Poem

Don't Make a peep
Because I am trying to sleep
A constant struggle indeed

Try as I might
Tighten my might
Darken my sight

Another night
How do you sleep?
What do you need?

When does my body know?
When to leave or go?
Sleep is for the meek?

Did I say that?

Tokyo Story #5

This isn't going to be much of a story but in our final few days my wife and myself stayed inside of a love hotel. At the love hotel there were amazing amenities like a steam room, a Jacuzzi, and a karaoke machine.

The bellhop guy was willing to show us where the English songs were in the book. Because we needed to know what numbers to type into the remote to get the songs on the TV. The first song I sang was Taylor Swift's Trouble. It's a great song and nothing will change that.

This concludes that.

Poetic Movie Review of Phonebooth

Though this movie is in one place
It's not boring, that's not the case
It's is psycho-logical
And oh so technical
A man cheated on his wife
Caused her strife
Locked in by a sniper
Killed if he won't tell her
A serial killer
But not as evil
The shots are great
Gun and camera
A beautiful character
And yet so flawed
It is short
And we'll placed
This movie will never be replaced
Not by a robot
That would be shot down
And quick
With this all in mind
I give this movie 4 out of five

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Wood

Today's topic is wood.

You heard that right. Like the stuff from trees. I like to think that there might have been a time in which trees were killers.

Otherwise why would we be using the cut up carcasses of trees to decorate and build our homes.

If you think about it in reverse, it would be like it trees decorate their homes with out limbs and created their houses with our ribcages!

Crazier when you put it that way.

Poem: Another Dream

A stream of light
A dreamy plight
Another sight
The second star to the right
Never grow up
Never mature
Living the dream
Bursting seams
It seems like it'll never end
The stream keeps it's bend
Yet when the river turns
And you see the burning sun
It will be too late to run
Teeth of the adult
In your mouth without fault
Continue on, try not to age
Yet you go from being blonde to grey
An age old sage
You see children
Yet your childhood is forgotten
You see one drowning in a stream
Slowly like a dream
You run to his aid
Use to the knowledge you've made
And save a kid
You looked just like him
In the past
And you understand life at last

The Yeah But.. invention

This invention is simple! Every been only slightly too lazy to learn more about a book than the cover?

Look no more. This invention will scan a cover image and generate reviews to give you a better idea of how good a book is without the pesky reading.

You can now judge a book by its cover.

Tokyo Story #4

While in Tokyo Disney Sea, I had a fantastic amount of fun with my Wife. We rode as many of the rides as we could. Which included the Finding Nemo Ride which had come out recently that month. 

We stood in line for 180 minutes. Which sounds better that 2 hours and 20 minutes. It was the shortest the line was almost all day too. We ended up getting sunburned from this one thing alone. 

Regardless, after standing in line for the entrity of a Marvel movie, we got on our ride. This story is not about the ride. This story is about how we ran into a couple of characters while just waking there. Dasiey, Mr. Incredible, and others. 

What I really wanted was Goofy. Grace, my wife, said we would be lucky to see him. Then the last character we saw was Goofy, right after that ride. Happiest man alive in the luckiest place on earth. Or vice versa?

Reign of Rain

Never forget that i'm not a layer or classically trained in the law.

This is an idea. A pop up umbrella stand with a huge huge huge mark up, in a public place. That way people have to buy front out, because your re the only one nearby!

Is this a crime? I don't know. But take control of supply and demand and make cash. Id like a cut, unless it is illegal, then keep me 100% out of it.

Tokyo Story #3

To say Tokyo was a trite confusing would be like calling a snake a legless dog: incorrect. There were vending machines everywhere. Whether I never noticed them before in big cities, I'm not 100% sure, but it felt excessive. Like a vending machine for every single 30 feet.
Sometimes, I felt like vending machines should have dispensed other vending machines. Like if the zombie apocalypse happened, there's no way you could starve to death.
That being said, I don't recall many of them having snacks. They mostly had drinks. Tea, juice, water, not Gatorade, and soda. Soda was typical. Coke, cola, and other such things.
Buy there was a soda in one vending machine called rootbeer float. Originally, I though this meant it was literally that. It turns out that it was actually soda that tasted like the last part of the root beer float. Which is better. Why don't we have this?

Poem: Mid-Knight

Between a king 

And beyond a bard

Not quite a knight 

Yet slightly more than squire 

Lies a small percent 

Even though a tall person 

A Mid-Knight 

Neither what you need or who you want 

Not the back of the line 

Not quite the front 

Armor for sure 

A sword? Perhaps 

A shield? If it fits the happenstance 

The Mid-Knight is not 

Ever what you thought 

You don't settle 

Or even reach 

He's just happy to beseech 

Yet, he looks nonplussed 

Though is valor is in surplus

A round table 

If he able 

To take four corners 

And make them none 

Because that would make him 

The chosen one 

Letter to Japan

Dear Japan,

I know that you may be unaware that I visited you recently, but I have. Just to be clear, I don't hate you, but I have a long list of problems with you.

First of all, why in God's name are samurai depicted as being so large. In every movie and TV show I've ever seen, they are these hulking man's of myth. Let me tell you something, everyone in Japan is 5’6, I swear. None of them are hulking monsters.

If they wanted to create a giant samurai, they would have to link arms and do it in the style of Voltron. If anyone felt like a samurai, it was me. Everywhere I went things were narrow. The aisles in a grocery store? Narrow. The sidewalks? Narrow. The hallways to my hotel room? Surprisingly large actually.

The point is, can the ceilings be higher? Everything is built like a shoebox. I felt claustrophobic the entire time I was in your space.

There was a specific time inside of a woodcarvers shop, where I had to bow, just to get under the doorway. Then once inside, I had to calculate my every movement, because I felt like a bowl in a china closet. And I was afraid that if I broke anything in the shop, it would turn out that the woodcarver was secretly the emperor of Japan.

What I mean by that is that everyone was so polite. I never felt unwelcome, but if someone came into my store, and they were a giant, and they started knocking everything over I wouldn't be very happy. As an American, I'm never 100% nice to strangers anyway. So I'd end up asking the gentleman to be careful or I would roll my eyes and say something to the effect of, “Just another day at the grindstone.”

But this woodcarver, he was regal and well dressed and nicer than most Americans would treat me in a similar situation. Everyone held themselves with such pride that any of them could have been royalty.

Anyone who didn't seem like royalty had hair like an anime super villain, and I don't want to mess with that either. And if someone was neither of those things they were a child or a tourist.

There was a point while I was there on the train and I realized that out of fifty people I could see, I was the only one wearing a t-shirt. A Captain America t-shirt. Everyone else was wearing a suit, a skirt, or a blouse. They were all impeccably dressed. But even though I was so out of place like an oversized middle finger on an otherwise small hand, no one treated me that way. My wife seems to think that people thought I was cute. Good job Japan. You keep a high standard, and I can respect that

-AM

Crime Time: Stuck to my ribs

Create a rib restaurant and then once it has hundreds or thousands of visitors a day, you create a new policy.

It'll probably take quite a bit of time, so while you are waiting, just gather a heck of a lot of toothpicks. Then when your restaurant becomes popular, just sell for a quarter each and that will be nothing but extra money, because you didn't pay for those
Be weary though, because I am not a lawyer.

Noodler Invention

Have you ever noticed how a kuerg basically only makes hot water?

Well, why don't we create a similar piece of kitchenware that can make ramen. Why?

So that you can do it absently like making coffee. So you can do other things while hot water is being created.

Billion dollar idea? As always.

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Starting

Today's topic is Starting. 

Starting is the most human of all thoughts people think that certain things should have a start and end. Except, who? Most things have a beggining and end... Don't they? 

I'd like to think not. What begins when at a table is finished? The table? Isn't it the end of a tree? Nothing has a beggining or end. That is a human idea of not understanding something being in existence before everything else. 

The universe for example, may as well have always existed. Because you didn't see the start, assumedly. Or the end. It always existed. 

But that isn't an answer to how and that I'd what humanity needs. Answers. But it didn't have a start. In fact, nothing does. 

Top 5 villains

1. Limes

It is the word lies with an m in the middle. Super evil

2. The Joker

A psychotic character who is semi-relatable in his pursuit against his rival.

3. Chickens

They are little cannibalistic birds who have little beady eyes.

4. Voldemort

He has no nose. And no one knows his name. Evil?

5. Lime based Chickens

They are evil little green crazy birds. So, you know.

Poem: A Story

Being young means never having your own tale
It means riding on coat tails
Those who have their own stories
Stories and stories tall
They take none of yours at all
Being young means never having your own tale
Trying it join the elders and fail
It means taking some from them
And telling your friends
Being a liar and a cheat
Just to create a feat
Being young means learning to accept
What hasn't happened yet
Stories will come your way
Maybe not yesterday or tomorrow
But possibly today.

Retirement

Do you ever feel like: man I wish I had a tire swing?

No?
Then you aren't really living life to the fullest. I've wanted a tire swing at least thirty times today.

Well then this idea will make you an instant gazillionaire. It's simple, implementing a a blow up inner tube and a rope outfitted with a hook and a magnet, you can  take the rope swing anywhere with you.

All you have to do is throw the top over a branch that can hold your weight, blow up the inner tube, and clip it together, using the magnet as a security precaution.

Tokyo Story #2: Why Guy WiFi?

If you are unaware, recently I went to Japan on my honeymoon with my wife Grace. We were there for quite a bit of time; more than a week. During that time we had very interesting adventures. This particular adventure came during our trip to the robot restaurant.

The robot restaurant despite having restaurant in the name, was not a restaurant. At least not in the traditional way. They did serve food, but it was much more about the show. Kind of like if a baseball game claimed it was a restaurant. Yes, technically. Why not?

The show involves robots and various strange versions of cartoon character based from Japan. Like TMNT and Po from Kung Fu Panda. They lit up, they moved, they had capacity for pyrotechnics and it was great.

The story was mostly about the evil aliens from the robot planet coming to take over the forest. The forest people were trying to top them.

But this story is about the wifi guy! The wifi guy was... Crazy.He said that he thought "water depletion was caused by WiFi and global warming." Like what?

I never got to hear more about this, because of lasers and robots, but what?

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Religion

Religion

Before I start this topic, I'd like to indicate that I don't think religion is non-sense, neither do I think it is a cure all. I think I have a hard time having faith and feel like some religious practices are... Strange.

Either way, religion feels like control. In fact depending on whether I want to be pessimistic​ or optimistic​, it has two different control style meanings.

Religion can be used to control others. Someone high in a church can use it to pollute people's minds with ideas that are definitely not there own. This all makes sense because people desire power and religion often involves frequent visits to see someone speak.

Religion can also be used to control one's self. You can use it as a guideline in which to live your life. This may be a method in which someone can pull good will. By believing something or someones looking after you, it makes it easier to brave in the face of adversity.

You want another invention?

This one is going to blow off your socks. It is super simple too.

It is a rubber seal that allows doors to be slammed without the Hassel of loud noise. Why is this important?

I don't know. So that you can be angry but you don't wake everyone in the world. And so that automatic shutting doors don't shut loudly either, making it easier for everyone.

Tokyo Stories #1

Tokyo Stories 

Recently, I went to Japan for my honeymoon. Mostly the Tokyo region. I have acquired quite a bit of stories from this trip.

For example, during our trip to Akihabara, Grace (my fiancè) and I ran into a Canadian lady and her son. He was rather close to buying a famicom. They asked me where they might find some manga, and then Grace and I continued on with our day.

A couple days later in a more traditional region of Japan, located miles and miles away from Akihabara. We were there to check out some shops and shrines.

While inside of a 108 yen store, we ran into the same Canadian lady. 9 million people and we ran into the same Canadian lady. Bizarre.

Poetic Movie Review of Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman was great
Let's start with that
For once a good superhero movie from DC
Doesn't matter that it's about a lady
It's well written
Well thought out
And I feel like the director
Knew what Wonder Woman was about
She takes no crap
She does Thor and Captain America's stories
Better than they can
Being about an outsider in a world war
It isn't generic
With unnatural cameos
Though destiny plays hard
We learn humans have their own cards
Because evil is within
But people can be good, it depends
As we watch her go from naive island woman
To a fierce warrior
Wars can be lost and won
But Wonder Woman wants to save everyone
This is my favorite in the DCU
But it's the only great one, so what are you gonna do
With that in mind 4 out of 5
The movie had heart
But it was still dark... (Like lack of light)

Dr. Hounchell's Theory of Life and Everything: Time

Today's topic is time. Time is bullshit if you will allow me to curse. Recently I traveled to Japan. Nothing on that right now. Bit when I came back, I woke up at 8. Experienced breakfast in Japan around 9. We got on our plane and left, off to Los Angeles. 

We arrived in Los Angeles at 8:33am, 30 minutes after I awoke based on numbers. It was the same day, but I'd been flying for 10ish hours. 

This made me realize that we only decided to create time zones out of what time to go to bed. Also, what determines where time zones are? Like definitively. Time is arbitrary and only exists to make me late for work. 

Poetic Movie Review of Resident Evil: Vendetta

Vendetta, you aren't as bad as the final chapter
Your CGI is laughable
But it is a different matter
You are able
To take off voice dialogue
And sounds that do not fit
And opaque viral fog
But this is a minor fit
Textures circa the PS2
An backgrounds drawn by a guy whose five
But what are you going to do?
This movie was made by less than 35
The story itself is chilling
If not confusing
Beyond the jump scares it is quite thrilling
And the overtop action, amusing
Leon is my favorite
But hasn't he been through enough
I want him to forget
That his life is rough
With this in mind
2 and a third out of 5

The Perfect Haiku

Another moment passed
And then the clock struck high noon
Finally, lunch time

Dr. Hounchell's​ Theory of Life and Everything: Marriage

Today's topic is marriage.

Marriage is the idea of combing two equally great things. It is like chocolate milk. Marriage is a sword and shield, when both people are the sword and the shield. It is a duel wielding moment. That's what marriage is. Duel wielding against the monsters of the world.