An Extra Version of Extroversion

A friend of mine accidentally reminded me of an article that I wrote for the Washburn Review,a paper from the university that I attend. She wrote about how being an introvert pretending to be an extrovert was difficult for her. It made her feel like she was her true self. This piece is less about her article, and more an extension of my feelings from my original article from the paper I write for.

I sometimes think that introverts are whinny, and they act as though there is some kind of prejudice against them. Personally, I have nothing against introverts, but as noted in my original article, I feel as though they get all the attention. It is an interesting concept actually, given that half of the ideal of being an introvert is to shy away from attention and social interaction. Yet, I feel as though that I only see the word extrovert when it is joined with the word introvert, as if extroversion is the norm. In actuality, it couldn't be the norm.

In fact, I see many people on facebook and twitter using their introversion as an excuse. Neither of them are an illness, yet sometimes I feel like people think extroverts are these evil manipulative puppeteers, hiding in the rafters of their local school and church.  

The fact of the matter is, I feel like I have to dial it back on a constant basis, so that people don't think I am annoying or overpowering. I have this constant need to be around people, but for the most part I spend my time on my laptop. Even now, my fiancee sleeps, while I'll be left alone until early in the morning when I go to bed. Most of my friends will going dark shortly before 1am. Even my fiancee, who has to be pushed into certain social situations thinks that I go to bed at an unreasonable hour, but this is all about my constant stream of energy.

At the same time, I feel drained and useless, if I do not have a constant challenge to pit myself again. I feel like I've been wasting away if I don't see a human face after three hours. I'm constantly talking to burn energy, and it isn't exhausting, it's difficult. To function, I need the social interaction, I need jokes, and I need people. I make friends fast, because I like talking, and I lose them at the same rate. 

Being an extrovert means that if I don't have constant outgoing feelings or adventure, I am lifeless and dull. Without weekend plans, I feel like I should do nothing. I move at a constant speed, probably that of light. I do everything quickly and I get over zealous immediately.

To some these attributes can be annoying, and people tell me, a lot. s such, I feel like I wear a cloak, so that people can't see my external flame, and it feels like that cloak turns my personality into acrid smoke sometimes.